VAGINAL DAVIS
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Read Vaginal Davis' diary of her national tour with Margaret Cho

Invasion of privacy: sneaking a peek into the personal diary of Ms. Davis.
Imagine that you have stepped into the lush personal boudoir of Dr. Vaginal Davis. There on the velvet pillow is a satin-bound book containing all her most intimate diaristic thoughts. You slyly peek inside the covers and find laid out for your vicarious pleasure the innermost thoughts of the Goddess. What makes you think you're worthy, you sick stalker? You know the guilt will destroy you. But you can't help reading...

February 5, 2002-For the past few weeks I've had a lovely time working with grad students at California Institute of the Arts with a performance art workshop. I've got utilize that Phd somehow. I wasn't expecting I'd have so many brilliant students. They are definately the new breed. Their assignment was to do performances based on Pier Palo Passolini's Salo, the 120 Days of Sodom. They surpassed my wildest expectations. There are some real cuties in the class. Its going to take every ounce of will power on my part not to cross the student teacher boundary and have sex with some of the boys who have made it crystal clear that they have no boundaries. I love young honkys who aren't tied to dull whitemiddleclassism. I also recommended to some students they should read Petrolio the unfinished novel by Passolini.

I'd love to adapt that book into a movie as my first feature film exploration. Who knows one day maybe I'll get the opportunity. Got letter from Susie Bright the sex expert. My short story in the Karen Finley edited anthology Aroused has won some erotic writing award and will be published in the Simon & Schuster collection The Best American Erotica. Maybe this is the first step toward getting a six figure advance for my novel Mary Magdelene. I'll believe after I've cashed the cheque.

I've been getting all these calls from the mainstream news media wanting to confirm my adulterous affair with that hot Jewish Enron executive Andrew Fastow. First of all i didn't know he was married when i met him while on tour in Houston. He just looked like a hunky older businessman in a crisp Zegna suit. I had never even heard of the the Enron Corporation. Yes the sex was steamy. The man is very well endowed and has a magnificient ardour about him. I've gotta be careful who i snog, i don't like being a media twatly.

On a brighter note, my English beau David Crossley will be coming to stay with me next Tuesday. David's adorable and hopefully he hasn't been reading any dailies or watching the International news reports..

Friday-March 8,2002- Johanna from Le Tigre put me on the guest list to see them at the El Rey Theatre. What a hot show! The girls costumes are amazing and the choreography and films projected in the background simply mindboggling. And for once an LA audience that was primed to appreciate all the hard work and true artistry put into the proceedings. I was spirited and blown away by the marvel of it all. My hot date for the evening being babydykeboy Bill Van Rooy. Of course in true scrampa fashion i wound up making out with cute humpy dork Jewish author Jonathan Safran Foer, whose book Everything is Illuminated will be coming out this spring on Houghton Mifflin.

Lots of celebs came out of hiding, like Jewish folksinging legend Phranc, and Clea Duval and her The Need beau-ette, and trendy fashion designer Jeremy Scott who was hanging out with photog Dino Dinco. I was too tired from being at Mz. LA Bleekly all day to dress up for the show, but Jo wants me to come up and sing on "Well, Well, Well" at the all ages show the next night in beautiful Pomona. Can't wait.

Saturday, March 9, 2002-Made the trek to the Pomona Glass House for the second Le Tigre show. Its gets better the more you see it. Vivacious Jo, rambunctious JD and sexy Kathleen pull out all the stops. When i came up on stage, there was a parting of the red sea by the kids helped by my escort adorable Ben-jamin. All the muscle daggers lifted me up to the stage and Mz. Kathleen got the best of "La Diva" and shrimped her!!!!! I'll never wash my toe again, like i ever do---I'm so crusty. After the show we went to this dive bar and hung out with a gaggle of ex-Claremont College artist kids who were just beyond wonderous. I drank way too many Vodka gimlets, but what can i say?

Thursday, March 21, 2001-Met with Lady Bunny at her room at the Eden Hotel which was formerly a Nursing Home. Bun Bun is in town DJing the 30th Anniversary Falcon Studios party. Good time gal Loretta Hog whisks us up in her convertible and takes us to chow at some fancy Tacqeria. Then she and Ms. Hog toke on some mota at Ms. Hog's grand Crescent Heights compound. After Lady is good and sauced we head for a Hollywood Blvd shopping Spree. Ms. Wigstock buys all the shows at Fredricks literally plus some high fashion accessories. Later than evening i meet her at the party which is in the Gold Room at the Park Plaza Hotel, which use to house famed LA clubs Power Tools and Nairobi Room. As i predicted the party is as dull. For people who have sex for a living they sure are boring. Like everything else the sex trade is gone way too far corporata. Its the usual cast of characters with Chi Chi LaRue looking divine and a host of interchangeable sexgenues. Bunny is bored to tears, but a gig is a gig. After greeting Selene Luna, Wash West and Richard Glatzer I hitail it back home to Guadalamara. I did meet a sweet 20 year old porn editor who saw me perform in Palm Springs on the Cho tour. He was the only cute fun person in the joint.

Sunday March 24, 2002-Checked out Lydia Lunch's Un Happy Hour Literary Extravaganza at the Parlour on Santa Monica Blvd in the Russian quarter of east Weho. Leave it to the first lady of Harsh to pack a room on Oscar nite with two stellar writers. Gene Gregoritz Lydia's protege is an excellent writer. He portrays Ron Athey in the film sections of Ron's latest multi media piece "Joyce". The headliner at the Parlour event was the poet lauryette of Silverlake Steve Abee who read from his new novel about riding the bus in LA---something i'm all too familiar with. I have to have them both read at this year's Platypus Oasis.

Monday Mid August, 2002-Haven't had time to write anything as I've been swamped working on Platinum Oasis, 2002. The event came off really well, though as of this writing I haven't been paid-----oh welp. Not getting paid is the story of my life.

Also I got kicked out of my glorious 1920s apartment/studio where I've lived for over 10 years. LA has become Ms. Gentrification hotbed. They are trying to tturn Ms. Los Ang into San Francisco and New York combined. Rents have trip trip trippled in the last few years. I was only paying $500 a month for a gigantic space so when new owners took over my complex they did everything in their power to get rid of everyone in the building. I was the only one who put up a fight in court and while i got to stay rent free for over 5 months i still had to vacate because our rent control laws are too damn weak. Even on principle i wouldn't pay the $1000 a month thats being charged now for one bedroom flats. So now i'm a homeless superrstar. Luckily my best girlfriend has let me stay with her for a bit in the historical bungelow she rents in Pasadena, and hopefully i'll get some housesitting gigs while i ttry to figure out what city, town, state or country i can afford to re-locate in. All my stuff is in storage. It's crazy being dislocated, but perhaps change is good. Warning to all apartment renters: If a Bernard Hoffman buys your building immediately gang up with your fellow tenants and get a power lawyer to fight him quickly -- he fights dirty with below the belt tactics so you'd better be on guard.

In more pleasant news: It was wonderful opening up for Siouxsie and the Banchees at the Hollywood Paladium where i was conceived 3000 years ago. Siouxsie looked divine---radiant youth and Budgie was his charming self. They were complete angels to me, even thought Joseph "Louise-Papa" Brooks bad mouthed me to them and the record company that is also putting out my new record with Dave Harrow and Technova. Of course it backfired on him as all parties thought I was nothing like how he described me. I still don't know exactly what he said to them, but one day I'll find out. He's bitter about that article in the LA Weekly where I called him a paper mache puppet who goes to exotic locations birdwatching and exploits every youth culture movement in the last 20 years. Hey, it's the truth. I suspect he blames ME for the article that Index Magazine was going to do on him getting killed. But believe me i don't have that MUCH power. Steve LaFreniere who interviewed him really liked him and Joseph does know his shit when it comes to music and he is a silver fox of an older man. He just has this weird thinggg about money and feels that he is the only one intitled to make any$ so he's not very generous when it comes to paying performers who work for him at one of his clubs. Its an irritating fact about him but I've gotten over it -----i just don't work for him period, but i still like him. I don't care all that much that he's a cheapskate. I think Siouxsie and Budgie were intrigued by my fued with Joseph. Its all a hoot.

Wed October 16, 2002-Left San Francisco and now I'm enjoying a retreat in a lovely Brechtian compound where I will spend some time writing my new one wo-man show "Orifice Descending".

Enjoyed my time in the bay area, but now I remember why I could never visit for longer than a week-end. Don't get me wrong San Francisco is a major Ms. gorgeous city and I went up during their Indian summer when the weather was almost a little too hot for my liking, but who couldn't resist those zaonic ocean breezes which purr through the peninsula making everything so crystalline clear. For the first time ever I saw zillions of for rent signs across the town. Unfortunately prices have only been reduced from $4000 a month to $3000 a month Why not a million a month, so I certainly couldn't afford to re-locate there. I was surprised to see when I first arrived that there are hardly any young people left---just old wealthy stoggies and trust fund babies, and the few diehards who managed to figure out a way not to get gentrified out of Dodge.

It was nice hanging out with photographer Marc Geller and company. He and his rock steady crew pooled their resources and bought a swellegant Victorian in the lower Haight. The place is magnifique! I wouldn't want to live communally though, but it seems to works for them. It sure was sweet soaking in their homestyle homeriffic glow. . .

Bruce "Judy" La Bruce's art opening at Peres Projects was certainly the highlight of the trip. It seemed like the most beaufiful people of San Fran came out for it. Russian dissident poet and sexthrob Slava was also out making the scene and breaking hearts and sphincters. I don't like art openings but this was an event unpara the big "L".

It was quite juicy running into Don Baird of the Hole in the Wall and Bay Area Times fame. He is always the brightest bay area light, and is a michieveous wit ta boot! I spent a lot of time hanging out with him and listening to the incredible music he spins at Hole and The Eagle Eye Cherry Tavern. Also met Heklina of Trannyshack. She reminded me of New York legend Happy Phace in and out of drag. Caught a little bit of her Trannyshack repertoire company at both the Folsom and Castro Street Faire's ---she and her Yarborough's and people are very much the aesthetics of San Francisco true and tried, I also went to their Tuesday nite shindig for about an hour of observation. All I can say is Falishpa!

Also at Bruce's opening was former porn ingénue Rusty Samuels, the ginger headed ex beau of my former film producer and cinematographer Lawrence Elbert. He looked great‹muscular and robust. He's such a sweet Huck Finn of a nelly boy. The Peres Projects gallery owner is an adorably pretty Cuban Jew named Javier. Later in the week he took me out for a fancy dinner at a restaurant not far from the gallery, where writer Adam Bloch also joined us. Adam is hysterical fun curmudgeon in a Jim Fourattish way. He's delightful and I enjoyed being around his gra-synergy. I also got to spend some quality time with "Judy" LaBruce on a Vertigo Tour along with that bubbling Brook boy who kindly volunteered his services as driver and guide borrowing Javier's sporty SUV compact. The highlight of the tourina was def the famous 1000 year old reds in Muir Woods. I could have done without the winding road up to the woods. I kept making Brook slow down and of course I was screaming and braking with my hands on the dashboard after every curve. We also took a side trip to Mill Valley to laugh at Grace Slick who was coming out of her house with one of her daughters.

Poor "Judy" was feeling a bit melancholia---her 14 inch dicqued Muslim lover ended their affair to return his homeland in Africa. Judy hadn't been in a relationship in almost 10 years, and she's never connected with anyone on such a spiritual level before. I wish I could have been more of a comfort to her, but I'm hardly an expert on male lesbian domesticity or conjugality of any kind. I wound up insulting Judyline when I muttered something about not finding her beau attractive. Her Muslim as she likes to refer to him is striking but not traditionally handsome in that matinee idol like way.

I spent a lot of time with them both last year when I was in Toronto on the Margaret Cho tour, and the man really charmed Margaret who isn't easily impressed. Now I'm most likely un-casted from Judy's next moving picure after the one he's beginning pre-production in Germany with long time producer Jurgen Bruninig. In fact I recommended by east German actress friench Susanne for the lead role and she got it. Susanne is the hot german girlfriend of my academic Jewish hunkina pal Mark Siegel.

On this trip to San Francisco I did a lot of tourista things, that I've never done before. I've been coming to the Bay Area since the late 70's but I'd never seen Fisherman's Wharf, Ghirradeli Square or gone down that famous crooked street, hell I'd never even seen Japantown‹which wasn't that interesting, and I hadn't stepped foot on the campus of Cal State San Francisco, which didn't have many campus thrombones to cruise, so I left in a huff. Oh and I rode a cablecar for the first time with some humpy British tourist who had amazingly thick calves.

Lunch reunion with my Afro Sister "Pop That Cherry" Jefferson and her son Immanuel Martin who wrote this great screenplay called "Card Center "that has a juicy role for me. Cherry is the same fun lady that I've known and loved for over 20 years. She lives in Oakland where she grew up and designs web sites with her own small business called Begonius Productions. It used to be called Dag, but people would always ask her what it meant so she changed it to Begonious which still confuses people. I told her to say its her maiden name. I also had a scrumptious home cooked meal by Quasi O'Shea formerly of Amoeba Records and Filmworks the art, movie and music collective that produced a lot of my early experimental film ouvre in the early to mid 80s. It was wonderful seeing him, he's gone through some personal trials but I think our visit prompted him to focus back on his art career. He is a very gifted individual and I'm lucky to own some of his more personal pieces including rare drawings in my private collection.

Of course I didn't meet any men up in the Bay Area who could give "The Doll" what she requires. I had some meaningless tricks, but that was even more than I could have expected. San Fran has never been a city where I connect with the mensis. That aspect of the place certainly hasn't changed.

My first Folsom Faire was solisic. I have to give them propers for their excellent crowd control and flow. Sunset Junction could stand a few lessons from their northern friendies. I liked seeing whordes of fugly naked men wanking sour crumply stiffies in full view of families. It just proved to me that San Fran is all about showing off, which is fine, but any real honest to goodness down home nastydirty they really can't muster the energies for.

I actually liked the Castro extravaganza more than Folsom. It was lower key, but served in just the right register. The main bandstand featuring Latino offerings was consistently amusing. I really liked the Mexican boy band whose name I've already forgotten. They were troupers had nice singing voices and put on a wildly energetic show.

I also had a swell time with Doug Gorden Bartels, who is the art director of Keyboard Magazine and lives in nearby Brisbane. I can see he's making inroads to flexibility and loosening up those mortars of rigidtity. His longtime pals Jeff and Sully who own a homomodern home on Portero Hill were also very lovely to be around.

Glad I was able to spend some quality time with Larry-Bobgoblin and Nicky "Giovanni" Leonard. Thankx to them I got to stay in the lap of luxury in a huge mansion overlooking the panhandle surrounded with libraric volumes of rare books, historic documents, sculpture, objects d'art and music of every genre from the beginnings of recorded time. I was never in any want or need. Larry and Nicky also put on an explosive weekly nite featuring social critics and humorists at the high tech Victorian Ganymede Center on Market Street. On my last night the boys took me to see the Mexican performance artist and Dadaist Astrid Hadad at the Brava Women's Art Creative in the Mission District. Seeing Astrid again really inspired me and now I'm anxious to add some new spices to my new one woman show that will premiere in the spring at performance art festival in Lisboa.

Tuesday, October 29, 2002 - Ran into Larry T and his gorgeous beau Conrad on Hollywood Blvd. Larry T is famous for coining the term "electroclash" and for writing the song "Supermodel" that put RuPaul on the mainstream map. He was in town with his band WIT(Whatever it Takes)who have been touring the world spreading the gospel according to electroclash colonus. I'm so happy that Larry is getting so much hoopla. He really is a red hot talent and very witty. He says his new found success is because of taking a business class with Forum/Vanguard the less cultish offshoot of EST. Larry literally kidnapped me and forced me to go to dinner with him Melissa of WIT and the luscious Peaches. All of LA is wrapped up in the house of Peaches right now. She is so sexy and personable that we immediately bonded and became best girlfriends. I also clicked with her manager Janice and pretty Mel. After din at the French Market Place in Hogtown we went to some event called The Short List. Its supposed to be honoring those artist who don't sell mega millions, but it was pretty much straightforward music industry crapola if you ask me. Larry and Peaches are great at schmoozing and it was fun being in their orbit. The Nerds or is it spelled Nurds who produce a lot of mainstream acts as The Neptunes or something like that, performed with their band and were lousy. I couldn't believe how people were making such a fuss. The Nerd kids were cute and young but with less than less then zero personality. The same for DJ Shadow. DJ's as stars that's a dumb idea. Its boring watching someone spin records. What he was playing wasn't that rivetting, and his visuals on three big screens weren't that arresting either. Some dorkus from Universal Music was responsible for the event, and they had tired Addidas as a sponsor.

The highlight of the evening was a surprise short set by Iggy Pop, backed up by an all-star band that included the Hives and Mike Watt.

Halloween Night: Accompanied big daddy Athey at this night of Edgar Allen Poe at UCLA's Royce Hall. Also performing was Kembra Pfahler of the Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black and her girls Alice and Bijoux who are so sweet and cuddly. The closed the evening doing a rock version of the theme from "Titanic" Will Farrell of Saturday Nite Live Fame was a reader, also Harry Shearer, Howard Hesseman from WKRP in Cincinatti. Diamanda Galas decided to nix it at the last minute so Kembra had them use Ron and Ms. Trilogy of Terror herself, Karen Black who read Fall of the House of Usher. She was brilliant. My favorite Karen Black movie is Day of the Locust. Also Chloe Webb who played Nancy in Sid and Nancy. Chloe looked really sexy and is such an underrated actress. She is really devine. Oh and Athony and the Johnson's performed. Anthony was on the compilation God Shaved the Queen, and was very dear, and is a big fan of my group PME and Glen Meadmore. His music was haunting and he has a very operatic throaty voice he reminded me of a young Klaus Nomi. Kembra sang one of Antony's songs and tore the roof off of Royce. Also the amazing Lou Reed showed everyone how a veterano can mezmerize. I usually hate Halloween, but this year is was YAYA!

Sunday, November 10, 2002- Rehearsed my minstrel number for my guest appearance with The Velvet Hammer Burlesque troop with sexy young Mr. Uncertain. I love this kid. He's in his early 20s and lives and breathes the jazz age. I really relate to him on many levels. He is a very gifted pianist and also writes some originals in an old time style. He is perfect for my new club nite Bricktops. Fertile is making my outfit and of course she has the best ideas for my salute to legendary black vaudevillian Bert Williams who was played by Ben Vereen in the 1975 film Funny Lady that starred Babs Streisand as Fanny Brice. The next couple of days are going to be hectic for me. Not only am i performing twice with the Velvet Hammer Girls but i also have a visiting artist gig at Art Center School of Design and i have to promote and put together Bricktops---which is going to be a lot of work. Luckily Andrew and Lenny of the Parlour are equally committed to my insane project. Only I could come up with bringing back a long lost era within a niteclub environment. We are going to start off as a once a month project and perhaps do a big New Year's Eve Mask Ball and then in the New Year go weekly. I don't know if LA can sustain a weekly 20s nite or not, but it couldn't hurt to try.

Thursday Nov 14, 2002-First nite of Velvet Hammer Review. I had a few technical glitches but everything went pretty well. The audience didn't quite know how to handle my minstrel personal of Coonelius Begonia----modern day people have no sense of the contextual. The visuals of it were quite striking. The entire show is really juicy. Michele Hell aka: Violetta opened with a saucy Salome that featured big daddy Ron Athey as the Executioner. It was quite the production number. Hammer fav's Kitten DeVille and MIng Dynatease and her giant lotus blossom were also fav raves. I think that Selene and her Amber Alert really stole the show. Selene has completely come in to her element. I also enjoyed the young muscular juggler boys who were quite hot, though they couldn't juggle that well----it didn't matter. They need to juggle naked. The olde fashion comedy routines were nice and twisted, and new Velvetees doing a Blood and Sand routine and contortioning. Of course the live band of Mr. Millionaire and his bad boys was a hoot. I had a grand time chuckling back stage with Christian Hoffman of Mumps and Swinging Madison fame and the special guest stars: Tura Satana, Lori Williams and Haji from Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill KIll was just the proper icing on that MacArthur Park Cake that had been left out in the rain just the right amount of time. Yippy!!!!!

Tuesday, November 19,2002- Did visiting artist at Art Center. It went well and the class was very spirited. I showed them the new documentary on me that was made for German Television by a student of Rosa Von Praunheim. Had some technical difficulties with the New Wave Hustlers singing by Jean Genet inspired song "The Balcony" but that wasn't a big deal. Did a little spoken word and showed my evolution as a experimental filmmaker begining in the early 80s with "That Fertile Feeling and segueing to the Fertile La Toyah Jackson Video Magazine of the early 90s and my interview of Ron Athey where we do a piss take down of S&M traditionalists. Its funny how my olde stuff isn't dated. The TA of the class Christoper Russell and his female husband took me out to dinner after the gig and we all had a nice time cooling down.

Thursday, Nov 21, 2002-Second Velvet Hammer show was really jam packed. Lots of luminaries, which i will go into in my UR Chicago Column. I was interviewed as part of a documentary on the girls. It makes me proud of their success as producers and performers since i first discovered Michele of the Velvet Hammer years ago and made her one of my Dominette Dancers with PME back in the early 90s.

Tuesday, November 26, 2002- My new lost generation club night Bricktops is a huge success. I can't believe so many people came out on a school night and dressed up to the 6's, 7's and 9's. Some absolutely stunning outfits that showed not only creativity but whimy and originality. I love how movie costumer Suzette Matheson of Crazy/Beautiful, Blue Crush and the new Flashdance remake "Honey" adapted the 20s to her personal style. Suzette felt that the 20s wasn't exactly a flattering period for her figure, so she refashioned an androgynous look that really captured Weimar Berlin naughtyness. Selene' Luna also worked on a similar theme with incredible results. My accompanyist on Harmonium Mr. Norman Ghoulsen looked resplendid in his seersucker suit, straw hat and walking stick. Michele Hell of the Velvet Hammer was a knockout as a sexy Alexanderplatz Kontrol Girl, Lenny the Young Elder looked hot in his top hat and tails, and Andrew of Gould was perfection in his knickerbocker holiday ensemble. Andrew's young wife Charity was a salvation army siren, and the list of sexy flappers was endless: Dame Darcy, Mari Kono, Pleasant Gehman, Mimi and Fifi Poubelle, and actress Charlize Theron. Alexis Arquette of the Arquette dynasty came as a dowager empress along with his brother David Arquette and sister-inlaw Courtney Cox. Mark Simon of Samuel French Books and his ex beau Stephen were Picasso at the Lapin and Marcel Proust and my gorgeous door girl Meesh was divine as Clara Bow. Next month we will do a New Year's Eve masked ball and if people support the club I'd like to make it weekly. I'd also like to do a Bollywood club, but haven't found the right DJ who could also mix in some middle eastern pop music ala Salon Oriental the club I frequented last year while living East Berlin.

Friday November 29, 2002-Kembra of the Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black picks me up to take me to the new westside mall The Grove. We're going to see the new movie Real Women Have Curves, her current obsession is with the dancing water falls at the center of the mall. All I have to say about that is: "Don't go chasing waterfalls . . ."

It's the day after Thanksgiving which is the busiest shopping day in the universe so the place is packed with people. Kembra looks gorgeous as ever wearing bright red leg warmers over euro cut denim and a stylish navy pea coat. She is wearing daytime glamour make-up as well. Seeing Kembra in such a normal setting is disquieting to say the least. We are an odd couple among the suburban housewives, children and couples on holiday dates. I love how Kembra is sometimes subject to wild outbursts of delight and fancy. She is never aware that anything she does might seem out of the ordinary to the casual observer. She is a true bohemian and consumate artist who lives in a world of her own design. The Grove isn't the worse Mall out in Mall-Land, but next to the wonderful olde and stately Farmers Market . . . what can I say? Kembra wants to find some three-D picture in a crystal shoppe, but we can't seem to locate it. She asks the moterman who operates a fake trolley that runs through the mall for directions and he gives us a lift to the place she was looking for. She has her photo taken by laser and it's crafted into a crystaline box with its own velvetine platform. Her pose is dramatic and exceedingly Hedy Lamarrish. It's a hoot when she strips her top off in front of the middle age propreitor and his teenage son. I'm sure her boyfriend Colin who runs the American Fine Arts Gallery that represents her visual and conceptual art will approve of his present.

In February Kembra will premiere her new clothing line during New York's fashion week. She has been the muse of designers Rick Owens and Betsy Johnson for years and was even signed to Willamina Modeling Agency and used in print ads for Calvin Klein. The girl is photogenic with a capital P. Her clothing line is rep'd by the same people who also handle the trendy clothiers Imitation of Christ. She says the night-time Karen Black designs are unwearable unless you want to ruin your life, and the Daytime Kembra look is gothic American casual simplicity for rock stars who want to be able to get on a plane.

Saturday December 7, 2002- Glenn Quinn who was only 32 died today from a drug overdose. He played Becky's dimwitted husband on the "Roseanne" TV show from 1990-1997 and also starred as Doyle on "Angel" the spinoff series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I met him on the set of the movie Live Nude Girls, 1994. We only had one scene together where I rough him up a bit. His character in Live Nude Girls was having an affair with the character played by actress Cynthia Stevenson. He was a sweet unpretentious party nigger from Dublin, Ireland with a steamy fat cock, that he wasn't afraid to whip out and show everyone, plus he had dreamy sparkling eyes.

Went to Dave White and his sexy latin bear cub beau Alphonso's holiday open house. They live on Harper just above Santa Monica Blvd a few blocks up from Andrew and Lenny of the Parlour Club. Ran into Manhola Dargis, the former film editor at the LA Weekly. She is now writing for the Times, and loving it. Also saw Margy Rochlin, who I've known forever. Lots of good food and drink. Everyone seemed to be in a festive holiday mood. Loved their downstairs neighbor a cute young baby dyke who is an aspiring actress and standup comedienne.

Worked on some writing back at my office and also got the sheet music for the songs I'll be performing at the Bricktop's New Year's Eve Masked Ball. Andrew finished the fliers and they look incredible.

Friday, December 13, 2002 - Last night went to my writers klatch with Ron Athey and award winning author Lisa Teasley. We meet at the coffee shop Cafe Mi Cultura that is on Hollywood Blvd and Wilton Place. It's a great little quiet spot filled with juicy young latino boys behind the counter. You know these are the kind of latins who are crazy for Morrisey and the Smiths. Ran into my former Cholita sister Elena who was with her two pretty children and husband Rick who is in the chicano performance comedy group Culture Clash. I like Elena, even though she is very bougoie and comes from a wealthy Orange County Mexican family. Her younger brother Mario Prieto has a giant penis and use to perform with me in my band black fag with Bibbe Hansen. He was quite the bass player and had fashioned a bass with only two strings.

My writers klatch is really productive. We get down giving each other feedback on our various writers projects, like Lisa's upcoming novel which is progressing sizzlingly well and Ron's "Gifts of the Spirit" stories about his crazy Pentacostal family. My rebellious self has always been putting off my serious writing side. I guess i was too embarrased to admit to myself that I have these books in me that have to come out whether i want them to or not. After the klatch we went to Solano Canyon to Cyril and Karene's where Rosina who is back from Switzerland cooked a feast for the Magi. A meatloaf appetizer and a beef saucino dish, two kinds of salad, fish, shrimp delicacies and pasta with pesto. Yum yum and more yum. I had fun flirting with Urs who is the cutest otter of a swiss artist boy around. It turns out both Urs and Cyril know the Swiss filmmaker Daniel Schmidt who contacted me via email and wants to work on some project next year. I guess he is the most famous of Switzerlands filmmaking community. 2nite me and Ron are going to Goddess Margaret Cho's birthday party at her new compound in the Glendale Hills. It should be a hoot. I hear she's hiring all these people to put on a pansexual live fornicating show. Afterward I'm going to be on the radio on KXLU's longest running program Stray Pop hosted by Stella from 12:30am-3am. I'll play my musical output from Cholita and PME to my new stuff with Bill Van Rooy and Technova's Dave Harrow plus i'll spend some 20s music that i'll play at Bricktops. Boy am i going to be a busy blacktressa.

Tuesday, December 17, 2002- Still re-cuperating from Fridays Margaret Cho birthday party at her new compound in the Montrose Hills. What an event it was with members of the new power band Audio Slave including former Soundgardener Chris Cornell (looking a bit long on the proverbial tooth) and ex Rage Against the Machines Tom Morello, Tim Commerford and gorgeous Brad Wilk, who I once had a liaison with back when he was in Brian Grillo's Lock Up. In fact I've done each and every member of the band back in the olde Club Fuck Days before they split from Grillo and formed Rage with Zack De La Rocha. Also partying out of bounds Diego Luna of Y Tu Mama Tambien, Pedro Almodovar, Adam Sandler, former brat snacker Judd Nelson looking very hagina, screenwriter David Benioff of Spike Lee's the 25th Hour, a Selmaless Ed Norton, the Icelandic band Sigur Ros and Mexico's roc en espanola Volovan.

I wanted to get it on with Notre Dame football star turned actor Andy Wisne who was part of the pan sexual live fornicating installation that featured couples of every persuasion going at it in a frisky unabashed manner as the party revelers watched or joined in. Margaret really knows how to throw an approriate bash. I had to leave the festivities early to guest DJ on the longest running alternative radio show in LA---KXLU's Stray Pop hosted by Stella. I had a great time spinning records and chit chatting with Stella who has been doing the program for over 20 odd years. Get it girl!

Monday it was performance art darling Ron Athey's 41st birthday party given by his Swiss beau Maxmillian who decided that it would be a traditional fondue gathering. It was wonderful seeing everyone dipping into the melted cheese. The party poppers included acting legends Udo Kier and Juan Fernandez (Salvador) butchkin "Pigpen" Myers Rifkin, Swiss Art stars Cyril Kuhn and Urs, Deborah Kara Unger, Franka Potenta, Veronica and Angela Cartwright along with Dennis Christopher(Chariots of Fire), Debby Mazar, Swee Pea, Valerie Vaughn, writers Lisa Teasley, Clint Catalyst and John Albert. Party planner to the stars Bryan Rabin and hunky son of Judea director Darren Stein of Jawbreaker with Rose McGowan(Charmed)

Saturday January 4, 2003 - I'm still barely recovering from my new year's eve masked ball at Bricktops. It was a major success. Mr. Uncertain, my new protege is the discovery of a lifetime. He is so cute, young, sexy and filled with charm galore. He is going to become a big star one day. Here are some of the highlights:

Special guest star Alexis Arquette of the famous Arquette Family Dynasty did a rather risque performance, his piece involved that large peni that he keeps tucked in a thong plus the the voluptuous anai of several audience members including sibling thespians Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaul. Watching the lunacy from a safe distance, a Selma Hayekless Edward Norton acting way too cool for his own good, TV's Charmed one Rose McGowan, Korean/Argentinian ingenue Leonardo Nam, Mexican cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto (Frida) who came with Diego Luna of Y Tu Mama Tambian, Viggo Mortensen and his 22 year old beauty prize Lola Schnabel (daughter of Julian), Joe Boxer spokesmodel and white acting negro Vaughn Lowery, Spanish humpy dork director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, with actress Geraldine Chaplin (Talk to Her), and college football star turned actor Andy Wisne who was seen later trying to escape the clutches of Kevin Spacey in the curtained Fornication Crevice of the Backroom Boydello Lounge. Wearing appropriate lost generation garb: members of the Icelandic band Sigur Ros, former Rage Against the Machine now Audioslaves Brad Wilke, Chris Cornell and Tim Commerford who came as part of the Bibbe Hansen and sons Channing and Beck posse. Queeny young design tyro Zac Rosen was giving attitude to genius fashion veterano Thierry Mugler (of the recently shut down money losing couture label), who was with actor Juan Fernandez(Salvador) and his beau, dancer/choreographer Tad Coughenour. Looking out-of-place was basketball star Jason Kidd, and trendy screenwriter David Benioff (25th Hour)

It's a lot of fun working on Bricktops with Andrew and Lenny of the Parlour, and my door girlf Meesh of the Epiladies. Meesh made my outfit and i looked stunning in it. Andrew and Lenny are lovers, but Andrew is also married to a pretty sweet girl name Charity, and I'm becoming his black drag wife. The boy is English with a super large endowment, so he has the equipment that can very easily satisfy a husband and two wives plus a few more lovers on the side.

January 7, 2003-Joe Strummer of the Clash died about a week ago. I was a mad Clash fan. I even opened for Big Audio Dynamite back in the 80s at the Roxy Club. Of course BAD was with the other member of the Clash whose name i forget at the moment. Yesterday one of my favorite cinematographers, Conrad Hall died. He recently won his second Oscar for American Beauty. My favorite film that he shot was Richard Brooks' In Cold Blood. Now Richard Brooks is one underrated director. Looking For Mr. Goodbar still haunts me. Oh and photographer Herb Ritts also died. I was never a fan of his work in fact if he hadn't been friends with Richard Gere or come from a wealthy family he probably wouldn't have become famous as a photog.

Got post New Year's drunk at The Spotlight. The olde school hustler bar on Cahuenga and Selma. Love the place and love bartender Jerry. He introduced me to an Aussie songwriter friend of his who was the absolute hoot. I love 'Stralians they are such good time Sallys. Why can't Americans be that open? Oh i think you know the answer to that question.

April 21, 2003 - Gosh darn i really don't have much time these days to do diary entries so i'll have to sum up what I've been doing for the last few months in the nutshell version. Well as expected Bricktops has been taking over my life. It's fun but it does take its toll with all the rehearsing and booking of acts. I really enjoy working with my protege Mr. Uncertain. He is quite a sexy young boy with a dark edge to him that is facinating. Every Friday doing Bricktops has been an utter blast, and people are loving the club and we're getting tons of great press. I'm really feeling appreciated. Of course I'm not the only one doing all the work. I get lots of tremendous support from Andrew and Lenny at the Parlour, Hector, Michele Mills and Professor Jennifer Doyle. They are all troupers for putting up with my many mood shifts and aggrevations.

Late March I had a visiting artist gig at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor. Everything went very smoothly and the campus is quite lovely. Lots of cute corn fed/free range mid western boys and it was wonderful hanging out with the lovely students and celebrity writers like the great uber masculine and hunky Mark Simpson, academes Douglas Crimp and Mark Warner. The facilitator of the event David Halperin was a doll and he took me to eat at a great downtown Ann Arb steak hause. I'm a girl who can eat. Also Melanie Manos from Too Much Girl came by my lecture which was sweet since she lives in Detroit proper. There were a lot of Detroit rock celebs in attendance as well. I caught a bit of a cold and like an idiot i thought i could drink the pain away upon returning to LA and Bricky's. I put on an incredible show while completely intoxicated but later paid the piper when i threw up all over Lenny's carpet at his apt. He was nice enough to take me to the airport to catch my early morn flight to London. I was sooooo hungover on the plane that with the Xanax i took i actually slept, which is almost an impossibility for me on an aeroplane. I was sitting next to a thick bubble butt army boy who was friendly but i was too out of it to give him fellatio. Boy am i dumb.

Arrived in London and it was a bit chilly but nice. The Tate Modern put me up in a very nice central London hotel. Did my little presentation and later went to a party put on by Ducky on this boat. Lots of wonderful art stars galore and even actor Geoffrey Rush (Quills) and Helene Bottom, i mean Bonham (was that a Freudian slip?) Carter.

Hung out with my Milan friend Andreas who was a doll and is very devoted to me. I adore him. Ron Athey and had to go to the midlands, Birmingham to be exact (home of Joan Armatrading) to scout locations for Visions of Excess that will be part of the Fierce Festival. They put us in this loopy hotel that was very Logans Run. The staff was devoid of all personality. My congestion was getting worse and hanging out in old mold and spore ridden buildings like the Curzon Street Railway Station wasn't helping me feel any better. We decided on doing our event at the Demon Club, a strip joint in the downtown area. The weather in Birm got colder and damper. I was glad to get back to London, though i had fun with Mark Ball the festival director and his ballroom dancing lover Simon and cute and cuddly rocker chick Ann Marie. They took us to lots of great restaurants.

Back in London the weather warmed up a bit and we went to Brighton by the sea with Franko B and his cute lover Chris. Brighton reminded me of the Bu as in Malibu. I wasn't really featuring being at a beachy resort, but it was gorgeous. I got lost and wound up leaving early for London. Went to a party at this place called Club Ghetto where Wolfgang Tillmans was DJing. Was invited by him and Porceline Doll aka Stuart Comer who is a big whig at the Tate Modern. The dance party wasn't all that but it was nice running into LA gals like Steve Gizicki, and there were some cute boys, and i did make out with one skinhead, but he had a doughy body so i didn't wind up taking him home though I was very horndoggy. Spent last days in London at Josh's moms house. His mater use to be married to John Mayall and she lives mostly in India so me and Ron had this 4 story townhouse all to ourselves with just the housesitter Amelia who was a sweet pretty lady that i like a lot.

Somehow i sprained my foot which kept me bedridden for a few days. So here i am in London, can't walk and i have a sore throat, stopped up nose and I'm coughing a mile a minute. It's so Ms. Davis of me. I feel sorry for poor daddy Athey having to put up with my miserable self. He is a giant of a man to deal with the very likesis of little baby me. I still haven't gotten my gnut and so Andreas takes me out to this sauna called the Pleasure Dome. I'm basically a cripple in the place, but my inability to move around actually works for me and all these hot guys come to me. I score royally with a hot Danish guy who licks me from head to toe. He can't get enough of "The Doll" We have a passionate 2 hours that seems like four days. Then some nasty English guys has a hankering for me and wants to basically service me. I can't turn that down. After him i take a nap and when i wake up I'm being ravaged by some flying dutchman with sad low self esteem cow eyes. Before i know it i have a mouth on every orifice and I'm suddenly the world type and everyone is wanting some. Boy i sure don't get this treatment in the states. Needless to say i gots mine, four times ovah. So i leave England very content.

No sooner then coming back to La La then i remember I'm opening up for Future Bible Heroes at the Troubadour. I had forgotten all about it. I'm performing with Mr. Uncertain and the audience loves us. I wasn't quite sure what kind of reception i'd get. It was so much fun playing a gig with Claudia Gonson and Stephin Merritt and Co. Their music is so intelligent and joyous. Claudia and Stephin have the best singing voices. I wish i could sing like them. They are true geniuses.

I'm still a little sick and jet lagged but i'm going to have to take care of myself because i'm going back to England in less then a month's time. Whew

Read Vaginal Davis' diary of her national tour with Margaret Cho.
Read Vaginal Davis' German Diary.
Read Vaginal Davis' Italian Diary.
And you can read More from Vaginal Davis' Diary.

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