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Das Tagebuch einer Verlorenen

Friday, April 20, 2001-
Lucky for me my AirFrance flight from LA to Paris was almost empty and I had plenty of room to stretch out in. I love Air France -- they have good food on the plane and cute ladymen stewardesses with fat asses. Arriving in Paris I had to take shuttle plane to Berlin. No flights from America go directly to Berlina -- it's some stale holdever from the cold war days. Lots of pretty boys on the flight -- hardbodied and eager eyed. A good sign that things are going to go well for me in Germany. Marcu Siegel as I start to call him picks me up from the airport and whisks me to his attelier in the Prinzlaubear(I'm completely spelling it wrong, I know) section of East Berlin the former GDR. I love this area. It's very much a cross section of Silverlake before the new breed started to migrate there, and Koreatown. Marcu's apartment is large and spacious. An old building that was renovated. Some of the other buildings on the street have prominent gun shot holes. Which is exciting but a bit ominous. I'm going to be sharing the flat with Daniela Romona, Marcu's boyfriend, until my hotel kicks in when we start rehearsing for Cheap Jewelry the performance piece that I'm the special guest star. Marcu pretty much lives with his gorgeous German actress girlfriend Suzanne and her two precious twins Salome and Richard. They are a happy little pansexual family. I love it. Susanne left her homophobic/neo nazi husband for Marcu -- an American intellectual jewish fag-got (with glasses) Their relationship is the cause celebre' of Berlin and has shocked polite society. Suzanne has been ostracized by the straights and Marcu' by the gays. Their love knows no bounds. Marcu's boyfriend Daniela is perfectly content that his lover since college is utilizing his bisexual potential. Saint Camille Paglia would be proud of all three of them. Daniela has been seeing a juicy Italian/German boy named Piero. Daniela speaks and plugs holes in 13 different languages and before living in Berlin he lived in Moscow, Paris and Krakow. Marcu also speaks between 15-20 languages. I love it how they sometimes forget that I don't speak German and start talking to me in Deutch. I forget that i'm not supposed to know German and answer them back. I haven't been in Berlin all of 15 minutes and the phone is ringing off the hook with dinner and drink invites. It's great to be popular.

Saturday April 21, 2001-
Met this cute 19 year old dorkina named Da-vid. He's tall, blonde with glasses, bubble butt and big feet. He speaks with a German lisp if there is such a thing and is a little too precious for my taste but he's a junior dinge queen who is soon to graduate to senior status. He really makes me laugh though he doesn't understand why I'm laughing at him. His English is pretty good because he works at this gay info line and speaks to American tourists all the time. He's pretty much a party and sex boy who haunts the Alexanderplatz looking for black men to pummel the soft tissue of his many holes. He lost his virginity two years ago to a darkie from Orange County, and now that he's gone black he can't turn back as the saying goes. When I told him that he was too young to be such an avowed dinger he just shrugged his shoulders and said, "I know what I like". He's so German. He has a giant penis but because he's a stone bottom he doesn't know what to do with it. It just flopps around while I'm plowing him.

Sunday April 22, 2001-
Rosa Von Praunheim called wanting me to be a guest lecturer at some art school he teaches at in Pottsdam, which is like Germany's Versaille. No mention of taking me out to dinner or drinks just making an apperance an hour out of Berlin. To say the least I wasn't thrilled about this. I like Rosa but he's a bit too self absorbed for my taste. I graciously decline his offer as I have rehearsals, but he's really insistent. Marcu and Daniela think he's really tired and tell me that mostly everyone they know hates his movies. I wasn't especially thrilled with his film "May I Be Your Bratwurst" which stars gay porno star Jeff Styker. I have a small part in the movie, and I'm really embarrassed by it. Thank god it didn't get that much exposure and was only shown at tired film festivals and on even more lame German television. The other German filmmaker who has been calling me is Michael Bryntrup. He's a nice guy and everything but he's shamelessly self-promoting. He calls and doesn't invite me to dinner or anything just wants me to be in some video he's directing. He has some nerve. I met him years ago through Bruce La Bruce. He definitely proves that not all Germans are goodlooking. Paul Plemper the cute kid who use to be a part of the Berliner Ensemble also called wanting me for one of his projects. I had a super crush on him when I met him in LA years ago, he's tall, blonde and a total humpy dorkasaurus. But what has he done for "the doll" lately? I don't want to be in his insipid theatre piece -- I want to chug-a-lug on his thick blonde willy. So until he calls for a proper date forget it!!!!

Tuesday April 24, 2001-
Got to meet the cast of Cheap Jewelry. This collaborative piece I'm in is based on the films, writings and performance pieces of Jack Smith, who directed the landmark experimental film Flaming Creatures that inspired Warhol to start making films. The piece also pays hommage to Maria Montez and Carmen Miranda. Me and Ronald Tavel, one of the early Warhol screenwriters are the special guest stars. Tavel was brought to Berlin from Bankok where he lives on young Asian boy blood and pork sausages. The three actresses in the play are all German girls and very interesting. I'm really liking Angelika and Cristina. They both look very 1920s Weimar Republic and of course Marcu's girlfriend and female husband Suzanne who is beyond incredible. The male members of the cast (if you can call them male) Alessio from the Tuscan area of Italy is one of the most androgynous creatures I've ever seen. He is so uniquely beautiful with a powerful and arresting presence. Sebastian is a big German/Slovenia queen with a large round white arse and pretty skin. I love how he is a little rough around the edges, but he's always carrying moisturizers and spritzers and drinking strange chocolate and strawberry milk concoctions and constantly eating icky sweet snacks. Then there is Yvonne from Belgrade who looks like a junkie with a hard, lean and angular body. He's very sexy in an odd way. Daniela and an aristocratic looking bohemian boy name Matisse are the text writers. Matisse has a great funky way of dressing and is very tall. He obviously comes from a wealthy family and is very fragile. He is boyfriend to our shows choreographer Laurie Young, a chinese dragon lady-girl from Canada who is in a famous German dance troupe, the name of which escapes me. At the first rehearsal I don't even know whats going on since it's all in German---well truthfully I can understand and speak more German than I let on--but let that be our little secret. They've been rehearsing since March twice a day and it's grueling.

Wednesday April 25, 2001-
I'm now staying at Hotel Griefswald which isn't far from everyplace I need to go to. I'm on the top floor with a delicious view of the city. They serve a very nice continental breakfast with parts that are American style. It's a musicians hotel with lots of photos of bands that I know. The Donnas and Steve Wynn are both on the floor below me. The Riot Grrl rapper Peaches lives in Berlin now but someone told me she is on tour at the moment. I love her.

Thursday April 26, 2001-
After a late rehearsal I run into a cute boy at coming off of the Ubahn. He approaches me and asks me point blank If I'm ahktive or passive. I start laughing and tell him I'm in an ahktive mood. He smiles and says he is glad since he is very passive. I love the direct approch that these Germans take. They boy is absolutely stunning. His name is Mirko, He's 20, 5'9" with dark hair and blue eyes and is half german and Bulgarian--a nice mixture. He has an onion ass, so sweet it makes your eyes water. I take him back to the hotel and plunder his open fields. I was really taken back at how mack daddy momma I've become.

Friday April 27, 2001-
Press conference for the Rich and Famous performance festival that my show "Cheap Jewelry" is a part of. I make a grande Marlene entrance late, wearing my Rick Owens designer original. Of course all eyes are upon "the doll" and the media only wants to interview me, so I'm hated by all the other artists in the festival. Such is life.

Saturday April 28, 2001-
Get an email from Casey Spooner of Fischerspooner that he and Kembra of the Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black will be at the Venice Bienale. Thank god there will be some fun people there besides Vanessa Beecroft. I have to finish writing my column for Glue magazine and a story I'm working on for Dutch. It's hard to focus on writing when you're working on a performance project, but I can't act like this is a vacation. It's all about work honey and don't forget it.

Sunday April 29, 2001-
Got together with the young dinge queen Da-vid again. I find out he's been with every black american who's come through Berlin in the last two years including two drag queens from New York who are currently living in Berlin. These young German boys are complete whoooo-res. After sex he told me that what he likes best about me is "I'm fat and I'm olde" Not exactly the most flattering thing one can say after fornicating, but I guess he means that I'm fat as in I have a big body, and that I'm olde as in older than him. Or maybe he means it just as he said it and he's giving me shade.

Tuesday, May 1, 2001-
May Day was uneventful. I was warned that there was going to be a neo Nazi march and a protest, and that the police would be in force heavily and that I should be careful and keep my passport with me in case I was stopped. I did run into a Nazi but he wound up taking me home to bed where I sodomized him for hours on end a fitting May day celebration.

Wednesday, May 2, 2001-
Got tons of calls and emails from Amerikkka asking me if I was alright. I guess the images shown on TV made Berlin look like it was the 92 LA Race Riots. If only they knew the truth of my whereabouts.

Friday May 4, 2001-
My first show in Berlin at the Podewil. Its the opening night party for the festival and I'm presenting my St. Salicia Tate piece. I use some cast members from "Cheap Jewelry" and friends as my altar boys. We really take the crowd by storm. They don't know what to make of my nutters performance piece. It was short and sweet and right to the point---always leave them wanting more. Claudia Muehler from German TV came to the show and loved it.

Monday May 7, 2001-
Opening night of "Cheap Jewelry" We are sold out for the first week of the run. The buzz on the street is this is the show to see. We've gotten excellent pre-press and we are the talk of the town. Strangely I'm not nervous at all, thats usually a bad sign. Show is a hit! The Germans don't know what to make of my very unprofessional extemperaneous outbursts. After my initial intrance I get a standing ovation. Whoopi Goldberg, Rosa Von Praunheim, Franka Potenta and Pina Bausch are all in attendance. After show I get together for sex with my May Day Date a hot blonde Aryan architect named Mathias. He's 30 which is the oldest guy I've been with in Germany. Its funny how all these boys from 18-21 are all over me here. I never get that kind of attention in the states. My archi lover even came to the premiere performance. Drag doesn't scare off euro men like it does in Amerika.

Sunday May 13, 2001-
At Podewil I have my screening of my underground ouvre. I turn the stage into the Oprah Winfrey set complete with couch, love seat and potted palms. It's a hoot.

I was surprised so many people turned out. There is a big audience in Berlin for experimental films. Later I go out and pick up this hard of hearing boy from a bar. He's ravishing with full red lips and the bluest eyes I've run into yet. He sports a retro 70s look with an iriquoix hairdo and bushytailed mustache. Considering he's near deaf, he insists on talking constantly. I feel like I'm having sex with a porpoise all the squeeks and ill noises he makes. He has an incredible lean and tight body with a penis the size of a smalll principality. I like running into well endowed bottoms its exciting. The kid is a little too new agey/rave-er-ey but he's only 21, and you can't complain when offered up such a fine asstrovar. its so bizarre to get sex almost every night from a different person and some repeats. This long run of the show sure makes me horndoggedy. A lot of feedback about the show is that some theatre purists say its "like being at a party that you weren't invited to". And the Jack Smith affectionados say it's "too entertaining" which is a just criticsm, since Jack Smith believed that thinking on stage was interesting and he'd do performances where he'd sweep the stage for 5 hours.

Friday, May 18, 2001-
In morning took u-ban to Sonnenberg gay area to Tim's Canadian Cafe to have a hearty American style breaky. I love their cafe con leche's. This cute hunky punky waiter was very fluent in English and he gave me a copy of the Heart International paper so i can find out what is going on in the world. When I get in from performing I'm to tired to turn on the TV and watch the BBC World News in English. Being in Berlin makes me feel like every day is Sunday. Performed the Life of Juanita Castro play and it went over well though I wasn't featuring that Ron Tavel. We were getting along early on. He has numerous stories to tell of olde hollywood lore and it was interesting hearing them. But I think he was a bit taken by all the attention thrown my way. I am a media darlingg dahling.. After breaky I went to the gay bookstore Prince Eisenhauer as i like to call it. Ist cute. The ugly owner was giving me the dinge queen hairy eyeball. Rode bike through Tierrgarden and it was duddy. No sun no men. That park cruising scene i just can't get into or understand. Same thing in Griffith Park, Balboa or The Brambles-- you name it. I'm just not John Rechy enuf to leave baby oil on a leaf. I just realized I've been in Berlin for a month. Went to the cruise bar Tom's. I better be careful or I'm going to become a darkroom Sally Iscariot. It was like being in a candy store and I'm the candy. At one point in the Pit i almost passed out as what felt like 100 hungry mouths were chewing all over my body---it was eerie and too Suddenly Last, Summer for comfort.

Saturday, May 19, 2001-
Marcu' took me to lunch in the Mitte section of the city which is the trendy art gallery area with clothing shops. Our meal was wonderous. Came home and took a disco nap and then got ready to go out. Went to this club called The Connection. I had never been to this place before and was very curious about it. Ist off the regular gay strip of the west area of Shonenberg- near the Nollendork u-bahn station. Got their almost 1230 or so and that was a good time. The disco was horrific, and so were most of the men. I had to look at some tired salt an pepper couple laughing loudly. The ugly dinge thought he was so funny and hot. His boyfriend was cute and that dinge was lucky he was in Germany because if it was Miss LA a Negro that buttfugly would never get such a cute young white boy glued to his side. His beau did say hi to me quietly. I would have loved to snatch that dick out of the dinge's tired mouth, but I'm not that immoral. Got cruised by this hot couple who were obviously into some game I didn't know how to play and wound up going home with a bubble butt blonde with a ruddy complexion who sucked the rust off my dick before I commenced to mountikus him.

The weather has turned bone cold AGAIN, like ist winter and good thing I bundled up.

Read Vaginal Davis' current Diary.
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