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Speaking From the Diaphragm

The Vaginal Davis Blog

. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

THE SOGGY SAGA
A nice long emug from Bruce "Judy" LaBruce. Its always facinating hearing from my favorite Canuck.

oh snoody: so much has happened, i scarcely know wherest to begin thusly and thou. iíve been to europe twice already since xmas, plus argentina last week. i had a retrospective in zagreb, and then i did a photo shoot for tetu in paris. (itís on the stands now, along with a spread i did in the new tank). argentina was wild. it was the 20th anniversary of the plata del mar film festival, which is kind of like the cannes of the southern hemisphere. except now that argentina is a banana republic again after the economic collapse, itís a little frayed around the edges. rasp reich was a big hit there Ė it was named one of the top ten most popular movies out of the 280 features shown. they loved the whole che thing,

[awkward editing of Judy's message because she is involved in a law suit that prohibits the mentioning of the details therein.]

. . . but iíve been bummed because itís delayed LA Gangbangers and may disrupt or kill my profits from the movie. wouldnít you know it. my money karma. the eldest of my three witchly sisters cursed me when i was 20 by telling me i have bad money karma, and itís held true ever since. anyway, the lawyer is trying to settle out of court. oh i have to mention, when i was in argentina i i noticed in the catalogue that there was a low budget argentinian horror movie playing called Jennifer's Shadow starring... Faye Dunaway! so i said to my cute wrangler i have to go see it or my friend glenn will never forgive me. it was a little disappointing as a movie. i was hoping it would be more like the movies caroll baker was forced to make in europe when she couldn't get work in hollywood anymore - those cheap sexploitation horror movies that we love so much - but faye was amazing, in high mommie dearest gear. it's actually kind of scary to see mommie dearest become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because she looks so much like she did as joan. in the movie, this really awful, whiny american girl named jennifer (who looks kind of like jennifer salt but without the intelligence) returns to argentina to sell the family mansion where her grandmother, faye, lives with her invalid aunt. the whiny actress' twin sister has also died, so she's there to bury her. the movie is too busy referencing other horror movies to have a plot of its own - whatever happened to baby jane (a wheelchair; faye strapping her various female relatives to a bed with leather restraints), rosemary's baby, several dario argento movies, nightmare on elm street, and a variety of hammer horror films, among others. there's also some mumbo jumbo about a crow that faye controls with black magic to rip out the entrails and organs of jennifer while she sleeps, including her kidney, which her doctor tells her has mysteriously disappeared. there's a scary portrait of faye with her arms akimbo on the grand staircase glowering down at everyone. faye isn't in it enough, but she makes the most of the scenes she does have with some unusual line readings and wild eye movements. apparently the movie was made on the cheap but the cinematography is actually quite good and faye looks great. it seems she did it for cheap because she's friends with the american co-producer. i can't imagine it being released in the US, but it is in english so maybe it will turn up on dvd. oh yeah, jennifer keeps calling faye "granny" in this whiny, nasally voice, like she goes, i'm selling the house and there's nothing you can do about it, granny! anyway, back to my problems. i was like a cult star in argentina. i gather that because of the retrospective they did of me in buenos aeries four years ago, iíve become this kind of fag folk hero there. but now iím a nobody back in toronto. i was soooo sick in LA. i had some kinda horrible bug i picked up in paris. i just hung out with billy, who was also illy. i was just there to talk to deadlee and see some people for casting and i also went to see him at his acting class. it was intriguing. (his teacher, bobby, who used to be in bikini beach movies, turned up recently on the starlet, the reality tv show with faye dunaway. have you seen it? itís so scary. faye dunaway is mommie dearest. she says things like ďiím going to be very hard on these girlsĒ (the aspiring starlets, who are all bland as melba mooreís toast), and at the end of every episode, when one girl is eliminated, she goes ďdonít call us, weíll call youĒ in the same way that she once said ďwhen i asked you to call me that, i wanted you to mean it.Ē) anyway, if i canít get the funding for gangbangers i will go mad, because the script is so good and the cast is really funny. the boy that deadlee has for the young male latino gang member, shy boy, is soooo cute and hot and edgy. canít act worth beans, but who cares? i may have to rob a gas station to fund it. with deadlee. that would look cool in the promotional material. i was also in LA to meet with javier about a show iím having at his gallery in july, although my gallery career is so terry schiavo right now. iím off to berlin on saturday. iím being brought in by cuntswerke and the canadian embassy to talk about the reich, and i think iím also doing a shoot for attitude cause i need the money. then the Muslim is coming back the day after i return. i havenít seen him or hardly heard from him since he left in early december, so iím excited. then i have to go to turin at the end of april to be on the jury of the fag film fest there, also the 20th anniversary, where john waters is the guest of honour. ok thatís it i gotta go rent harmony korineís movies because i need to brush up because iím interviewing him at ryerson university on friday night in front of an audience because i feel like it. i am getting laid by my jamaican fuck buddy. and you? xxx blab p.s. please please do not post on your site the part about the che guevera estate lawsuit. my lawyer wants it kept out of the media because heís trying to settle out of court

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oh and this little something sent to me from the great Ernest Hardy

If you are an Aries, stand up, survey your kingdom (the world, baby; it's all yours) and demand that which is rightfully yours: All of it. The rest of you mofos: Show the proper reverence, deference, respect and awe. In the words of Lynn Whitfield (as Josephine Baker), "Just love me and do as I say."

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"Sometimes I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can anyone deny themselves the pleasure of my company?"
-Zora Neale Hurston

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 8:47 PM