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Speaking From the Diaphragm

The Vaginal Davis Blog

. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

GNADIGE FRAU
Gypsy Boots, the health food legend died a few weeks ago. I thought Gypsy was already dead, as he was ancient back in the 70s when i first became aware of him. He use to have this celebrity studded health food restaurant on 3rd Street near Western in what is now part of Korea Town. It wasn't much to look at, but inside would be all the major stars of the era. I never went as i was too young and didn't like wheat grass, but my older sister use to go all the time with her Vegan best girlfriend named Luigi.
Poor Luigi, the girl was doomed. She was a white scrawny bag of bones, who moved from Manhattan Beach with her mom to Olympic and Vermont and attended the Vermont Congregation of Jeho that my sister went to. All i can remember of Luigi is that she had ruddy colored skin then blended into her hair, so that she appeared to me at least, as a shapeless faceless blob. The girl not only was mousy in personality but she resembled an albino mouse. I think she even had pink eyes. My mother was always telling Luigi that she needed to eat meat, because it was obvious being a vegetarian wasn't good for her. The girl was always sickly. This was 1973 or 1974, and I rarely noticed my older sister's dull friends, but something intrigued about Luigi, I've always been partial to people with low self esteem. Her real name was Louise, and she didn't take it too kindly that I called her "Luigi". She worked as a secretary on Wilshire Blvd when it was the capital of the insurance industry. Every morning before work she would swim laps at the Ambassador Hotel's health club. One morning she was electrocuted when a light fell in the pool. The day before she had come to pick up my sister in that little Datsun she drove, to take her to Gypsy Boots restaurant and to see the movie The Conversation that starred Gene Hackman and was directed by Francis Ford Coppola. They saw it at the old 3rd run movie house The Embassy Theatre on Western at Third Street which is now an ugly mini mall. One time at this theatre i went alone to see the film Hearts of the West starring Jeff Bridges and Blythe Danner the mother of Gwyneth Paltrow. This was early 1974 and i was about 12 years old. My tired nerdy friend Russell Lim, who I'd known since the 2nd grade and I'd been in the MGM program with(Mentally Gifted Minors) was supposed to meet me at the theatre but he got lost or something. Towards the end of the movie, a tall, lithe Iranian looking young man of about 19 sat down next to me. He had dark brown curly hair and a very handsome, streamlined face with a heavy beard, he was wearing sandles, and i thought his feet were huge. During the final credits he took my hand in his own and placed it on his crotch. He had a giant erection through his pants, and he forced me to feel the outline of it. I was both frightened and excited at the same time. I'd always wanted to be approached by what my mother warned me was a pervert. The closest i ever came was when i was sitting on a limb of a tree when i was around 10, and this greasy ugly drunken black man yelled up at me that i had one tiny little narrow ass. He started blowing kisses to me and told me to come down from the tree but i climbed up higher and he was to drunk to follow, and then staggered away.
I grabbed my hand back from the Iranian, and ran out of the theatre to catch the bus back home. The Iranian pulled up to me at the bus stop and asked if i wanted a ride. Luckily, or perhaps not, the bus came and i hopped on, and never told anyone what happened.
Whenever i would be in the Western and 3rd Street area over the next few years i would see the Iranian on the street or at this used bookstore that also sold old sheet music from the teens and 20s. I would spend hours on Saturdays at that bookstore. The owner took a liking to me and would sometimes give me reems of old sheetmusic and rare first edition hard cover books that i still have. The Iranian would try to engage me, but i was too much of a goody goody, and the shocked look in my eyes acted as a deterrent. The last time i saw the Iranian was in the early 80s. I was performing with my Afro Sisters at Emigre Magazine party at Beyond Baroque. The Iranian was gaunt and shriveled from the ravages of Mrs. AIDS, i barely recognized him. He was with some black hair queen who must have been his lover and caretaker. There was still a trace of handsomeness in his jawline, but everything else signaled he was on deaths doorknob. Ten years had passed by so i doubt if he even recognized that the drag queen on stage was the same little boy he unsuccessfully tried to seduce so many years ago.

MME. BRULARD
I'm loving housesitting for Hector and ErikLa at their Maltman Avenue Silverlake compound. Their deck is major Ms. Gorgeous and I'm possessed by the sunsets. I'm taking care of their garden, and I hope i don't wind up killing the plants, as i don't have a green thumb. Its nice to watch their TV, since i don't own one. Been looking at the Olympics from Athens and pulling a major Cornelius on those swimmers, decathaletes and tiny dimunitive gymnists.
Some of the Olympic cameramen must be dinge queens the way they lovingly caress those black jubas jubilee sprinters. Slo-motion close-ups of muscular thighs and race horse arses, and some floppies that can't be strapped down. My favs have been the 19 year old French Canadian diver, and a hot athlete name Seberle from the Cech Republic and this other humpy piece from Kanakastah or whatever the name of his crazy country. I'd sure like to be their semen depository.

This little emug came from Bruce "Judy" LaBruce:

Greetings:
On behalf of TLA Releasing and the Philadelphia International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, it is with great sadness that I must report the sudden and unexpected death of the promising young actor Andre Noble on July 30 from inadvertent poisoning.
Andre starred in the film SUGAR, which has been playing to great success at the leading gay and lesbian film festivals this summer. It is currently in theatrical release in Canada through ThinkFilm, and it will be released on DVD/VHS in the United States by TLA Releasing and ThinkFilm on November 16, 2004.
Andre Noble, age 25, was born in 1979 in the Canadian fishing town of Centreville, Newfoundland. He attended the Sir Wilfred Grenfell School of Fine Arts in Newfoundland (where a scholarship has been set up in his name – see below), before heading to Toronto to begin his professional acting career.
He appeared in productions of Shakespeare’s "Hamlet," "As You Like It" and "Twelfth Night" and he co-founded a new theater group in Toronto, The Young Company. Andre also began his television career by appearing in the popular CBC mini-series "Random Passage," TVO/TFO’s "Ta Voix Dans La Nuit" and the TV-movie "Prom Queen: The Marc Hall Story."
Andre made his feature film debut as "Adam" in Jacob Tierney’s TWIST, a modern retelling of "Oliver Twist," which opened in Canada in 2003 and is currently in limited release in the U.S. through Strand Releasing.
He then got what might have been his breakout role as the lead in SUGAR, an adaptation of Bruce LaBruce’s "JD" stories directed by John Palmer. Andre played Cliff, an 18-year-old suburban boy who heads into the city and falls in love with a seductive, crack-addicted hustler, played by Brendan Fehr ("Roswell").
SUGAR had its premiere on May 22, 2004, at the Toronto InsideOut Lesbian and Gay Film and Video Festival, where it won the award for Best Canadian Feature. It had its US premiere at the New York Gay and Lesbian Film Festival on June 6, followed by festival screenings in San Francisco (Frameline) and Los Angeles (Outfest).
It was then at the Philadelphia International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival where Andre made his first U.S. appearance for the film. Together with director John Palmer, he answered questions at the screenings on July 24 and 25, and he attended various social events, including the Festival’s Tenth Anniversary Party. Andre and John also met with TLA Releasing officials to discuss SUGAR’S November release on DVD and VHS.
After Philadelphia, he headed home to Newfoundland, where on July 30, while on a hike with friends, he came in contact with the poisonous plant monkshood. He died a few hours later, before he could reach a hospital.
Andre is survived by his father and brother, a grandmother and a wide circle of relatives and friends. His memorial service will be held on Sunday August 15, from 4-6pm at the Buddies in Bad Times Theatre 12 Alexander Street in Toronto.
In his memory, the family has set up a scholarship fund in Andre’s name for the Theatre Department at the Sir Wilfred Grenfell School of Fine Arts in Newfoundland. Donations can be made to any branch of the Royal Bank for the Sir Wilfred Grenfell School of Fine Arts at Corner Brook. Tel: 709-256-1600
Andrew R. Preis
Director of Media Relations
TLA Entertainment Group/Philadelphia Film Society
234 Market Street, 4th Floor
Philadelphia, PA 19106

also this directly from Brucian:

no accolades. just a small controversy about whether or not my new film Raspberry Reich plays at the toronto film fest. signs point to yes, but there are some fishy machinations going on. i haven’t heard more yet about the death of the boy who played me, but i will endeavour to find out. i’m having a lazy, crazy summer. i think i need to go into rehab. it looks like sexy tiger tyson has agreed to appear in my new la gangbangers movie... more on that later. x blab

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 4:21 PM


Monday, August 23, 2004

SO GUT WIE NEU
I've been hanging out lately with some of my young students from various art schools, colleges and universities. The queer ones are so normative, its depressing. I'm talking queer graduate students and undergrads. Their perspective on life is so dullsville and middle class. Granted, I'm a black urban gal, super radically charged, but when you see so many little boy art whores in their early 20s with beaus, who they've been with since their teens, it makes me want to upchuck. And it would be one thing if there was this undying passion between them, but there isn't. They might as well be going through lesbian crib death. I never see scalding, hot obsessive lovers, just a close 19th century style school chums aura.
Am i the only one who finds this disturbing? Please send me your feedback on this timely subject.

O just one more thing. My straight boy intern just told me that his girlfriend plows him up the ass with an assortment of dildos and sex toys, and she also has ichy knuckles and fists him. They are both 19, devoted to little ole ME, and such a cute couple. I always sensed the girl was a barracude femme top, now i know that the boy is a proper butch bottom. Now that sizzles!!!!!

Here is a little note from my darling Larry BobGoblin. I'm so proud of Larry. He's made some major changes in his life, which make me respect, and adore him even more then i already do:

I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone Friday morning and she mentioned she'd sent me an email the night before about an ad posted on craigslist looking for a piano player. I wasn't planning on checking email before I went out, but I went ahead and read the ad. They said they wanted someone to play for a show on Sunday (two days away) and that the pay was $100 and there were six songs or so to play. I'd been thinking of going tothe Harrison bear street fair Sunday, but I figured I could use the cash more. I called the number and talked to a woman there, who passed the phone on to the leader of the band. There was going to be a dress rehearsal in about an hour and a half, at noon. They told me where the gig was -- by coincidence it was at the same theater my band had played the week before. I said I'd do it.

I took a cab down to the rehearsal with my equipment. It took a while for someone to show up to open the theater. The main performer was a Black woman of about 50, and the other performers were young kids. Other than a guy fromthe theater, I was the only honky. The band was a bassist and a drummer and me on keyboards. The bassist was the bandleader and gave me some indication of the key of what we were playing. I'm a little more used to playing off charts. For one of the songs he wrote out some chord changes for me. I managed to make it through the performance ok. At a couple points there was a call for classical music and I was able to fill in some Bach and Mozart. The bassist was really good -- he played funk grooves and a song with a blues progression. The bassist gave me a ride home. Apparently there was something wrong with the computer on which his production company had the usual list of piano players, which is why the ad was placed on craigslist. Today I went down to the gig. There was a low turnout -- I don't think the show was promoted very effectively. The main woman was probably trying to do too much. Anyway, we still played pretty well, and I was given the promised$100 in cash (I'd spent about $25 in cab fare getting to the practice and the gig but got a ride home today as well.) The woman who put the show on also had a display of her black folk art rag dolls, and gave me a little cloth refrigerator magnet of a woman in a headscarf. I didn't play all that great -- I could use more practice and more direction, but as always happens when I play in new musical situations or with new people, I learned a lot.

The bassist has a studio in the east bay -- I don't know if he'd ask me again to play with him, but at least I conducted myself pretty professionally by doing the gig on such short notice.

Larry

WETTKAMFE
Willy Banta and Miriam Jacobsen of the band Spookie Pie took me dinner at Taylor's Steakhause in Koreatown. I had the infamous London Broil and drink a million whiskey sours. I always have an amazing time with Willy and Miriam. Willy's day job is a science teacher at King Middle School in Silverlake. Miriam has been working in the calender section of the LA Weekly for years. They bought a cute little house recently in Burbank.
Talk about a creative couple. Always engaged in some fun project, and with a whimsical youthful spirit that makes them so wonderful to be around. There are very few people i can stomach these days. I swear i'm becoming more of a recluse.

Held an audition at the Parlour Club for some new talent. I discovered Mr. Uncertain that way, and now I'm hoping to mold another gem from the rough. A nice woman singer, from the open mike circuit sang a few songs for me. She's only been performing for about six months, and hasn't really found her voice yet. I'm always excited about new talent.

Later that evening at Bricktops filmmaker Laura Nix and her Whirly Girly Burlesque bicycle riding Club came in mass, about 45 strong Valkaries, all hyped up on pedal fever. Talk about a sexy entrance.
The entire evening was spectacular. Our salute to Lucia Joyce, the dancing daughter of James Joyce was very inspiring to a lot of people. The last time i got such a lovely response was when i did a tribute to Carl Van Vechten and this young college age black woman came up to me in the DJ booth thanking me profusely. I always worry that my themes are just to esoteric, but you know what, I don't feel like i should dumba down what i do. If they get it, fine, and if they don't thats fine too. After two years of doing Bricky's i've proven that there is a clubgoing crowd that wants something with a little more bite and substance. Gosh mostly all the other clubs in town are pretty pedestrian, so my nite does stand out.
Bay area movement performer Jean Spinosa did an incredible job, choreographing a sizzling piece that featured another dazzling girl and a humpy fair skinned boy. The crowd was mesmerized.
My performance consisted of trying to find the tightest sphincters in the crowd, and i did a little monologue about when you're an artist you are considered crazy. In this society having original ideas is tantamount to madness.
Was introduced to John Hassall and Gary Powell of the British band The Libertines, they seemed truly flumuxed by Bricktops. My club really hits people from left of field. Drag King, Mo B Dick was also running around. Mo B. was dressed pretty femme, i don't think she is a lesbian anymore. Is that a new trend? So many lesbians are dating men now. Her date was this guy who is a co-founder of Google, Sergey Brin. He was kindof cute, i would let him stick his penis in me anytime.
Other notables who i was formally introduced to: Diego Luna of Y Tu Mama Tambien fame, who said that Bricktops is needed in Mexico City. I told him their was a Bricktops in Mexico City in the 40s and 50s. Diego was with two other Mexican actors whose names i forget and a french actor named Gre'gor Derange're who was last seen in the Isabelle Adjani movie "Bon Voyage". I was told that some young male ingenue named Dax Shephard was also at the club, but i don't know what he looks like, so i can't personally vouch for that. I did talke to Mean Mommy of the Cheap Beer Saaphic Filmakers Collective, art historian Robert Summers and his well endowed photographer beau Matt Lipps, and Heather and her Toxic Titties Art Gang.

Saturday was my first day housesitting for Hector & Eric who are off to Europa. They have a cute home on the top of Maltman Avenue in Silverlake. I walked down Edgecliffe and visited with Dr. Jennifer Doyle who made me some delicious soup, then off i went to cruise the tired Sunset Conjunction Function. Saw lots of latin rovers, echo park effetes and Los Feliz pretty boys. No one was biting at my line. The rock stage seemed dull and uninspiring, and the heritage stage was the usual Michael McKinney McKoodle with the former husbands, daughters, uncles and aunts of the Supremes performing, but i did enjoy Ashford & Simpson especially when they sang, "On Any Streetcorner". Poor Valerie Simpson she has been married to that black hair queen for over 35 years----let me stop being so cynical, some mix marriages between straight women and gay men work really well. Charles Laughton and Elsa Lancester are the perfect example.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 2:09 PM