Speaking From the Diaphragm
The Vaginal Davis Blog
. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
My little young blonde neighbor Jonathan Wuermeling is so cute and bubbly with a great personality. He is from Stuttgard, and is attending business school in Berlin. He just celebrated his 19th birthday, and i met his sweet friends all warm , genuine and personable. He was an exchange student in Kentucky so he speaks English with a Southern dialect which is quite charming for a German. His school year ended so he went back to his hometown and will return to Berlina in October. My only other neighbor in the hinter haus is on the 1st floor, a woman who has lived in the building for over 35 years. She´s a bit shy but very friendly. I´m lucky i have a shower in my apartment lavatory. For over three decades my poor neighbor has had to take whore baths. Billie Ray Martin, the singer of the international club hit from the mid 90s “Loving Arms” was living two floors below me. Billie´s real name is Birgit Diekmann and she is from Hamburg. David Harrow of Technova who i collaborated with a few years ago on the album Electrosexual also worked with Billie on her hit record. I like Billie Ray, she is quite a talent, but the poor girl is somewhat of a dark cloud. I have to admit i was glad she moved out of the building. An Italian waiter also moved, probably because Billie was constantly complaining about the noise he made. I never once saw him. A gay Brazillian boy moved in after him, but i´ve only seen him once, maybe he moved too. I guess i am lucky that in my apartment building there are no drunken crusties. Both Tim and Kjohnny Blue have alcoholic German crusties in their apartment houses, and believe me you dont want to have to deal with a sour piece of crust.
The other night i went by Frankenstein 5000 and a lot of the Turkish boys were bringing their girlfriends to the bar. I guess thats the first step in coming out in that community. Some white fags also brought women, which is quite an unusual sight in a cruise bar. A few of the more adventurous gals were taking a stroll through the basement dark room. I love it when the ladies infiltrate a male sex space. There should be more of that, as darkrooms in Berlin for the most part are pretty pathetic. Havings some feminine energy in them would liven things up a bit
I am getting a little irritated by this trend of institutions like collleges, universities, film festivals and museums in the states contacting me for information, or wanting screener copies of my experimental film ouvre but not bringing me out for a presentation , Don´t waste my time and the time of my faithful assistants Andrea Novarin, Verle Oberon and Gleeson Brevard. Listen out there in cyberland and listen good. Don´t contact me unless you have a firm offer on the table i have to pay rent just like everyone else, so why would i respond to anything that doesnt offer me a guaranteed honorarium. And please dont insult me by asking for something for free . And this goes for all you crafty careerist academics. I am not flattered by your wanting to write about me, of course you want to write about someone interesting. In academia if you dont publish you are in great peril. I cant tell you how sick i am of these academics who write to my staff requesting me for a visiting artist gig and start off saying how little of a budget they have. That will get you no where. Join forces with several departments and raise an appropriate budget before you approach one of my representatives. I use to work at UCLA and i know how the system works.
While i´m venting Printed Matter and the NY Art Book Fair have been contacting me asking me questions about Fertile La Toyah Jackson Magazine. One of the young assistants working with AA Bronson got me a little peeved when in one of his emails he asked me to send some original writing, and they would consider it . . .like i was soliciting them or something. Darlings you contacted me, i didnt contact you. I spoke to Billy Miller of the Manhattan Review of Unnatural Acts,and he also was put off by this kid, so i don´t think i was being too sensitive. Us Black drag queens are notorious for being easily offended, so dont committ a faux pas with us. When i use to work at the LA Weekly the movie studios would call all the time wanting us to send them old articles, that they were thnking about making a movie of. I would tell them to go to the LA Public Library and research it themselves, or pay me as a consultant. It would have been nice if the the NYArt Book Fair had flown me out, hired me as a DJ or speaker or something. Throw us old gals a bone or two.
ALICE LEBT HIER NICHT MEHR
Had brunch with Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, our last before he goes off on another European tour. Joel is also looking for a new apartment as he is sick of living in trendy gentrified Prenzlauerber. We ate at Melitta Sunstrum in the Mehringdamm area. In the hof behind the cafe was some drag event. Later in the evening i went by Frankenstein 5000 and saw the German man that Tim Blue and i call “The Chin”. I swear this guy has the largest chin in the world, he looks just like the 60s cartoon character Dudley Dooright. I´ve seen him during the day and he is a gay version of the popular Neu Kölln crustie. A crusties job is to drink morning, noon and night and they have a great work ethic when it comes to this occupation.
Got an email from a young fan of my movie reviews. I still get invited to screenings of European and Hollywood films, here in Berlin, but don´t always make comment on these pics. But since i was asked here goes:
The Nanny Diaries-Not a good film, but Chris Evans as the male romantic interest looks meaty and very chewable. Lesbian singer Alicia Keys steals every scene she is in. Not even pros like Laura Linney and Paul Giamatti can help this wussy of a feature. I like Scarlette Johanssen. One day she will be a good actress, she is personable, attractive and has a great screen presence like Lana Turner during her ingenue years in the early 1940s in films like Johnny Eager.
Hancock-I actually liked Tom Cruise´s black well endowed lover Will Smith in this mess of an action six reeler. Poor Charlize Theron seems embarrased, and i don´t blame her having to play the wife of Jason Bateman..
Mamma Mia-Where is Nancy Walker when you need her? Nancy directed the Village People in Can´t Stop the Music in 1980. She should have been at the helm of this Dullywood musical.
EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT
Wir varen mal kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo-Yes the famous Christiane F. is now at age 46 a junky celebrity once again, but this time a Kottbusser Tor crusty at the Kottbusser Tor U-bahn station in Kreuzberg. Don’t I keep you all abreast of all the important facts and tidbits?
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 2:55 AM