Speaking From the Diaphragm
The Vaginal Davis Blog
. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Our third village Judenberg has a nice large hautplotz(town square) We spend two nights in nearby Wollmerdorf at the guest house of Frau Ebner, who asks immediately upon seeing me and Sister Suzi, "Who do these women belong to?" Brother Marcu calmly explained that we belong to Jesus Christo which seemed to put the elderly lady at ease. At breakfast Frau Eb was curious as to what tribe I belonged to, so I told her I was from the ubangi lipped hottentot tribe and sang for her I-commazeemba zeemba zia, the zulu warrior chief. Next door to the guesthouse was a sawmill which made me a little uneasy in that Texas Chainsaw/Twin Peaks manner.
The fireman Commandant Karl Pichler had a gorgeous young full lipped, tiny waisted Lt under his homosexy leadership . All the firemen really got into our performance, and stayed long after filling the ark with water. They even interacted lovingly with the Bros/Sister Cheapies and the townsfolk, who were so thankful to have us in their village, when their young people have abandoned them for the great big city. All the Turkish folks responded excitedly to the photos of handsome Turk film matinee idol Yilmaz Guney, that decorated our vehicle. We’ve really made this piece resonate.
I wasn’t aware that the governor of California Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger is from the Austrian Steiermark. One of the areas sporting venues was named after him, but they changed it after he executed gangbanger Tookie Williams, and the governatrix was so offended he gave back his Graz city ring.
Our most spirited crowd was Grosse St. Florian, named after the patron saint of firemen. The village was so tiny there was no town square, so we performed our ritual in the fire department parking lot. It seemed like the entire town was there watching us, and some festival bigwigs from Graz also stopped by.
St. Salicia was so intoxicated by grace, that she wasn’t aware that her new flock of followers had trailed her as she walked in a trance through town, and had gathered outside her hotel chanting, "Salicia! Salicia! This was all captured on film by national Germany, Austria and Switzerland TV, and also the periodical Kleine Zeitung.
After all that the last performance in the town of Furstenfeld, near the Hungarian border where there was a Romany massacre, was a little anti-climatic. On the way to Furstenfeld we passed the quaint village of Bad Gams, which should have been some kind of omen. The last performance wasn’t awful. In fact it was one of our best. Instead of baptizing sister Suzi, this time Bros Timothy and Marcu took the plunge in the icy cold spring waters. The audience just looked at us blankly. The only one who got into the mood was our Chinese lunch waiter, a dead ringer for Hong Kong pop music king Edmund Leung.
For our second presentation at the campshow grounds back in Graz, we decided to present a gorgeous tableaux vivant, which hypnotized the audience.
After the presentation our second Wo Ist Party DJ event at the kuntsler center was delicious. So many cute university kids and celebs like the Russian Klitschko boxing twins, heiress Andrea Herberstein, banker Helmut Elsner who has the hots for my racehorse ass, and Courtney Love’s 20 year old trinket boy,Jamie Burke partied with us. I don’t think the partygoers realized a lot of the music I play when I’m behind the wheels of steel are special versions of songs never released, given to me by the various artists who are personal friends of mine.
I didn’t get to see much of the festival offerings as I was kept so busy preparing, performing or recuperating from my shows. I did get to check out the homomodern designy Forum Stadtpark. The No Space is Innocent exhibition featured Eytan Heller’s amazing video Love Sum Game an akshunist Tennis match in Abu Dis(East Jerusalem) between an Israeli and Palestinian over the Seperation Wall, and Michael Glum’s hilarious The Three Failures, an electric hot open air bag lecturina representing the failures of every man made political system via the cities Riga, Malmo and Manhattana.
The festival headquarters first floor girls Miss Eva Huber, Edda Krammer and Anja Herman took Cheap out to experience the joys of a bushenshenke, treating us to the divine experience of sturm, chestnuts and farm fresh food at Kleindeast Kleinst in Gundersdorf and also at the mountaintop Bockmoar. Anja’s beautiful dorky beau Patrik did the driving and we all sang kingdom songs on the long trek through winding roads.
Miss Eva still retains her punk rock spirit. She was known in her day for hosting big gay parties in her tiny hamleta and for scandalizing her conservative Catholic neighbors. I knew there was something about Eva i liked immediately, and that is she is a punkette. Eva has a beautiful teenage daughter and Miss Edda also has two lovely blonde children. Spending time with these gracious fun loving goodtime gals was the best way to end my long stay in Graz.
Returning to Berlin I met with Kiki Montparnesse, the main assistant to Jurgen Bruning. Kiki helped me prepare for my International Porn Film Festival lecture/workshop. Kiki is so knowledgeable and easygoing. A pure joy to work with. Later that evening I saw one of Cazzo’s porn featurettes. Cazzo is a Berlin based porn company. The owner of Cazzo, not exactly the happiest looking of male campers, seems to hire boys that are similar looking to himself; tall, lanky and big peniled. Daniela Romana and I also went to see a lecture by the gorgeous French theorist Maxim Cervulle on the post colonial pornography of Beur Boys, Citi Beur and the films of Jean Daniel Cadinot. Maxim is my newest crush. He and his boyfriend may come back to Berlin for our big Art Silvester party. Maxim also came to my soldout workshop/lecture. Ali Janka, and Gabriel of the art group Gelatin, brought a huge posse to support doll, and later took me to dinner. Actor Daniel Bruhl brought his beau Jurgen Vogel who stars with him in a new German movie, tennis great Boris Becker, who is a big dinge queen, was also in the audience, and tried to hook up with me afterwards, but i ignored him. I think Mr. Becker is married and i don't do married men. Experimental film guru Wilhelm Hein and his artist photog galpal Annette Frick really enjoyed the gonzo black gay and straight porn i showed, and lots of boys came up to me with raging hardons. Berlin film festival curator Nanna Heidenreich wrote this about my workshop: "outrageously impressed by Porno Adorno. Ms. Davis is just SO fucking amazing with film, scholarly and sophisticated, a walking encyclopedia -yes, but its especially the way in which she 'reads' film,how she looks at the cinematic... Dr. Vaginal Davis puts adoration back into Adorno!"
Thank you Miss Nanna for the kind words.
After dinner I went to the birthday celebration of tranny legend Zazie De Paris, one of the girlfriends of Jayne County during her early 80s stay in Berlin. Zazie knows everyone and her guest list included the gay major of Berlin, who goes to the opening of a bag of potato chips. Udo Walz, the famous Berlin hairdresser of Chancellor Angela Merkel, Otto Sander, one of Germany’s most famous actors who starred in Wm Wender’s Wings of Desire, John Hayes, the muse of Charles Ludlam and Peter Hujar, make-up artist Andreas Bernhardt, Wieland Speck and Mabel of the Panorama Section of the Berlin Film Festival and Kaz Wushek, attendant of Theatre an der Park Aue, Marguerita Von Bruck and her husband the famed actor Martin Wuttke of the Berliner Ensemble.
Fearless Leader Gal Sharkey Suzi of Cheap cooked one of her super superlative meals in honor of Tim and Kjohnny Blue’s visiting mother and step father from Portland, Oregon. It was their first trip to Europe and it was wonderful seeing two middleaged people excited like small children. The step father was a priest with the Catholic Church for over 25 years, and he left the church to marry the beautiful woman he loved, and to help her raise 11 children. Tim and Kjohnny’s mom is one hell of a hot vixen. Her first husband, the father of Tim and Kjohn was a handsome, strapping fireman and goodtime Charlie with a huge peterfication. He died in his prime due to a hospitals mis-diagnosis of a virus he had contracted. From that tragedy spawned a great, and beguiling love story on par with The Thornbirds.
Can you imagine a young mother with a huge brood of kids, left suddenly all alone, but her parish priest secretly in love with her for years, just waiting quietly in the background. And in her hour of needs he really steps up to the plate, as they say in cliché TV chat shows. Well they are a wonderful and warm couple, and it was inspiring meeting the people who raised my wonderful big dicked Blue Bros.
Went to Theater An Der Park Aue to see Tim Blue and Steffan perform in the Cheap production of Dr. Seuss’ ABC’s. Children’s Theater in Germania has become a fertile nesting ground for adventureous work. I will be working on a Cheap adaptation of the fabled children’s tale of Max Und Morris in March. I will play the sexy widow, and for the last half a year have been brainstorming with Cheap on the concept. Instead of a Butthead and Beavis like re-telling, which is the obvious way to go, I steered Cheap into making Max Und Morris into a Pachuca styled girl gang and musical review.
The Cheap production of Dr. Seuss, was their first at ParkAue, which is the largest and most prestigious Childrens theater in all of El Europal. In stead of a traditional presentation, Cheap came up with a brilliant interactive series of installations which really engages the children and teachers. Leading the kids are Tim and Steffan, who is one of the theaters stock company actors. Cheap has to use the stock company but can also bring in guests. Tim is such a natural with the children. He is a grown man who has retained his innocense and wonder completely, and the children respond to that----he’s just like them.
Tim and Steffan look great together and have developed a nice Seussian patter. I loved how mean Steffan was to the teacher’s. Watching Steffan, I kept thinking of the Brazilian children TV star XuXa, the petite blonde former softcore porn actress who use to be married to soccer legend Pele. Like XuXa, Steffan can’t hide behind acting technique his utter contempt for children.
Lunch meeting with Amelie of Hamburg’s Kognagle with Cheap in crowded trendy Mitte café. Amelie is excited about our Cheap 5 year plan where we hope to create a new arts festival, and start a Cheap School to discover the new generation of Cheapies. Amelie is also going to present the Cheap 2007 performance homage to Fassbinder’s Whitey which now has the working title of "Whitey . . .Sortof" Later in the U-bahn I marvel at how Germany is the land of ill hairdos. When Germans are ugly, they are really really UGLY!
Later in the evening Cheap met up with Bruce "Judy" LaBruce and writer Bruce Benderson for dinner, then afterwards Judy and I accompanied Mr. Benderson on a rent boy pub tour. We wound up spending most of the night at Basco’s, one of Berlin’s premiere establishments of funding exchange for affection and company. One elderly john all in white, makes the rounds of the bars with two young men dressed in matching white suits, like they are his back-up singers. I wonder if they keep the suits on in bed. Only in Berlina kids.
Tim of Cheap hosted a Sunday afternoon Margarita Party in my honor. He and his younger brother Kjohnny mixed the sensational drinks, and cooked some red beans with rice-----yummy. The star studded soiree featured all the Cheapies, fearless leader Suzi looking resplendid and sexy in a hot black cocktail number, Daniela Romana and beau Piero of La Colleczione de Piero, Marcu Siegel, photog Annette Frick with legendary filmmaker beau Wilheim Hein, who got into a heated discussion with director Ella Troyano(Latin Boys Go To Hell) about Jack Smith. Ella came to the party with Kiki Monterpernesse and Jurgen Bruning, known mainly as the producer of Bruce La Bruce’s movies, but is also a director in his own right. Jurgen just started his own gay porno company called Wurst Films. Also attending was Gabriel of Geliten, Greek movie director and stud puppy Vassily Bourikas with his superstar blondine soccer playing pal Eidur Gudjohnsen, Israeli art star Assaf Hockman, videomaker Christian Wassnab, famed Germanic writer Daniel Kehlmann(Measuring the World) Ms. LaBruce with actors Rachel Weiss and Garrett Hedlund.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 10:46 AM