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Speaking From the Diaphragm

The Vaginal Davis Blog

. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

SUCK SEX IN THE CITY
I know some of the most amazing people. Here are two yummy pieces of correspondence from the famous international auteur Bruce "Judy" La Bruce, and the lovely and talented Miss Mary, Mary Pagone who is the guardian of the gate at Jean Spinosaís new clubnite Wigout.

hi glamourpuss: glenn told me you are in new york painting the town amber valetta. i imagine you as missy elliot as king kong, tearing up the place. (do you believe miss peter jackson? sheís lost a tonne!) guess twat? iím going to be in berlin for jew years. so i guess weíll be having fun on jew years eve. joel is moving to berlin indefinitely in a few weeks, so heíll be there too. should be a good mash up. iíll be in berlin for two weeks starting dec 29th. also, my birthday is on january 3rd, in case anyone wants to throw me a party, hint hint. iíll be 39.

i just got back from madrid and hong kong and madrid on sunday. what a trip! madrid has the hottest hustler bar in the world iíve yet encountered. itís called black and white, and it is eve plumb full to bursting with the hottest brazilian hos you can imagaine. they all look like hot latin cover boys. most of them have enormous arms and small wastes, like popeye, and calves like wooden wedges and theyíre really handsome. some of them are from northern brazilia, so theyíre virtually jubas. unfortunately none of them speaks english, but that didnít slow me down much. actually the one i had a hot night with without having to pay him was this 26 year old portuguese guy who i didnít know if he was truly hustler white or not. he spoke six languages and was way more sophisticated than the brazilians, so i didnít know. he was my impromptu translator. turns out heís more like an escort, like the paid companion type. we had a hot night of discos, bruce bailey quality coke, and nude tongue wrestling. i was in this crazy boutique hotel and my room theme was opium den, so we took our cue from that. very anne baxter in the razorís edge. unfortunately he evaporated in the morning. hong kong was blow-minding. itís so dense and glamorous. no suzy wong sex, but i had a blast. i went out with glennís friend frances, who has the hottest boyfriend ever, a korean handsome boy model named Song, if you will. i had a huge crush on him, especially after he took his shirt off in the underground club Darling Harbour. i have a new appreciation for the Asiatic strains. i have a hot case of bird flu. frances invited me to a party at the apartment of the guy who designs the lighting for all of hong kong. i told him he should check out palm springs if he wants to see good lighting. after ten days in hong kong, it was back to madrid for keifer sutherland (24). i finally broke down and allowed myself to be superhustled by the hottest brazilian at the bar, who could manage a little spanglish. worth every euro, i must say. one problem though. they all seem to have small feet. theyíre a little top heavy. back to the grind in toronto. a got a little wee art grant, which puts a bandage on my hemhoraging debt. must grift harder. when are you going to berlin? x blab
***
Dearest Ms. Davis ~

Just wanted to tell you how utterly delightful the little things in life are to me. Like coming home on a cold (for Lost Angeles) evening to find a real honest to goodness postcard from NYC in my mailbox. Recognizing the little spidery handwriting and knowing my Ms. Davis is having a splendid time in the Big Apple (of Her Eye.)

So good to know that you are the toast of the town and having a ball. I sure do miss you, tho, and upon your arrival back to this fair city (well, I know you are OVAH Los Angeles, but I still see the glitter here and there), we really need to have a good old fashioned girly catch-up over dinner.

Miss you so much and wish you were here to laugh and carry on. Take good care of yourself and enjoy your travels.
Thanks again for the postcard!
xx0xx -
Miss Mary Mary

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 7:53 PM