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Speaking From the Diaphragm

The Vaginal Davis Blog

. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities

Thursday, August 25, 2005

UN AMLETO DI MENO
That wonderful Brazilian artist Eli, The Vivid Astro Focus Boy sent me an emug about his travails with MOCA here in LA, with this upcoming exhibit in the fall. Eli asked me and the kids from My Barbarian to perform at the opening, and we all planned to do some really extroidinary things, but of course the powers that be had other ideas that certainly excluded our funky cold medina selfs. It seems to me that MOCA never intended to have us underground types perform, but was intent on having a superstar DJ like the ugly and overrated Paul Oakendullard. After having dealt with the owner of the Funeral Parlour, i know of which i speak with that type of mentality, that I've seen at action at MOCA for years with the way the treated my friends Marilyn and Lauren Quintana. I felt like i should have warned Eli, but he's young and needs to experience it all first hand himself and formulate his own conclusions. Here is his emug with all the particulars so that you my dear reards can have insight in what its like to be an artist under such an oppressive climate that we are subject to in this day and age:

well guys

i dont even know where to start

i guess this is so typical for these old rotten institutions

we were at MOCA working yesterday and then the two girls responsible for opening party event came up to us and needed to talk. they told me the director of the museum intervened in the opening event subject (for the first time according to them) and demanded that they had paul oakenfold DJing at the opening party. they told us he's got personal connections apparently with oakendull (what i thought was kind of weird: who is this guy? an ex-E addict rave trillionaire?) and who would supposedly be playing for nothing or very little. this is the way he wants to go for the opening which will be so dull that it hurts. they also told me that he doesnt want to detract the attention from dull oakenfold and asked for the performances to happen in a different night. the girls told me then that they are on a printing deadline and cant even argue since paul schimmel is way on holidays and completely unreachable. at least thats what they are saying, they have no power to contest the director's decision.

apparently the other moca space's been having these special saturday nights in which they extend the museum hours till midnight and have special events happen for free: DJs, performances, etc. the director talked about the possibility of doing the same for the ecstasy show and suggested a night curated by avaf that would include your guys performances and whatever dj we want. the only thing is that this is still not certain. they are checking on the possibility of doing this and promised a response as soon as possible.

i feel really bad about this and want to stress that in any moment this was mentioned as even a possibility before. again just to make a brief history: i told paul i wanted to contaminate his curatorship and bring performances to avaf's space. he told me that because of fire and security issues that we couldnt have performances in our space but that we coudl have them outside at the opening night party. then i get here and there is all that crap about big name dj and music act. then they dropped the whole big name thing and now this.

it's hard to trust them i feel they are always hiding something (ran into very similar problems at tate). but want to assure you guys that this has nothing related to me. they are flaking out on you and me. anyway, i think it would actually be better to have a special separate night for you guys (unfortunately not as many people as the opening, they told me they have around 1,000 visitors instead of 5,000 for the party) in which we could do whatever we want to.

but i know this is totally disrespectful with you all (and me) and it's really up to you if you want to continue on this and go for this possible saturday night event. i just thought i had to be sincere wth you and let you know whats going on even before their final response.

on another note, we had an idea related to vag and wanted to check if you would be up for this honey. we were thinking of having a guerilla performance anyway at the opening party inside our space. we could provide you with a mic and you could have some background music. let me know if you are interested on this, we wouldnt be telling anything to moca people. wish we could offer the same to d'argento/my barbarian (unless you guys want to do something more impromptu without instruments).

i'm really sorry for this situation. i love you all a lot and my only wish with this invite was to praise our relationship and our admiration for you. but unfortunately we have some big monster in btn.

lemme know your thoughts

sorry
love
eli
assume vivid astro focus

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 2:09 PM


Monday, August 22, 2005

HEIMFAHREN
Had power bitch meeting with daddy Athey at his Silverlake compound. Weíre both tired of being exploited and want to fight back by opening up our own space, that will also function as a living quarters for this doll of a little girl. Can you imagine having something of my very own that would function as a regular working/living space and where I can put on events as diverse at Bricktops and Spicy Beef Curtains? According to Ron a lot of those Chung King Row galleries are financed by silent partners, namely business people who want to back the arts. So perhaps we can find someone to finance us. I hope so. If there is such a person out there, please contact me pronto.
Had lunch with Barbara of Santa Barbara and Ms. Meadmore at the French. Wonderful time with these two lovely ladies. Ms. Meadmore has finally dumped his hustler lover Monty, who is bipolar. It took being kicked out of yet another apartment building because of Monty and his antics. Iím so glad Ms. Barbara is in Glenís life. She is the only husband that he needs---a female husband. Male husbands are not worth their grain of salt.
Visited Ms. Shauna Leone at her MAC make-up lair at the Glendale Galleria. Hadnít been at that mall since the early 90s. Iím not exactly a mall girl. Had a delightful little girlish giggly Gertie time with Shauna, she is the ultimate beauty pie, and a true flapper.
Saw some rare silent films from Scandanavia at the Melnitz Theatre at UCLA. One from 1910 featured Asta Nielsen, who does this erotic tango with a hunky lover that is downright nastyola. Asta actually grabs at his genitalia, and he has a right mighty package ta boot.BEAUFIFUL. I had to leave the last film early as I didnít want to be stuck in tired Westwood waiting for an autobus. The elderly gentleman playing keyboard during the film remarked to me that it was nice that someone was really laughing out loud and getting into the picture. There was a good crowd at Melnitz but those westside people canít react to anything with their sad blank faces.
Friday, that gem of a gem, Mr. Mark Simon helps me move out of my bachlorette apartment on the Hollywood Bronson coridor. The tired new owner has turned the place back into a motor motel and also some weird kind of halfway house with drug addicts or I donít know what damage these people have, its so BEYOND, and I really canít figure it out. From 10pm-3am its really quite animated right outside my apartment window with so much loopy shenanigans that I canít even explain it properly. I donít have anyplace to move to, but I donít care. If anyone without any pets or houseplants wants a housesitter from Sept 1st to the 8th let me know. After that Iíll be in Berlin till Oct 10th, then after that Iím most likely in Toronto for another month.
Saw that mainstream comedy film, The 40 year old Virgin. Nice guiltina pleasure. But if the lead was working as a shopgirl in an electronics store, he certainly would not be able to afford such a nice apartment, even in the god awful San Fernando valley. A real 40 year old male virgin would be still living with his parents rent-free. That was my one pet peeve with this flick. Enjoyed Romany Malcoís performance, and heís one hot juicy jubas jubilee, but his white lover Paul Rudd needs to go on a diet. Heís too young to be so squishy and doughy, though he does have a nice round bubble butt that Iím sure Romanyís huge black penis tears up on a nightly basis. ROW!!!
Got a call from my pal Billy Miller of the Manhattan Review of Unnatural Acts. He told me a hilarious tale about a friend of his named Timothy Peacock who besides sniffing vinegar, loves to get down with elderly gentlemen, make obscene phone calls and fornicate with horses at the stable in upstate New York where he works out of. Equus!
Saturday was treated to a day of beauty regiments from Mary, Mary Pagone. That darling, gorgeous lady, is so generous and loving. She really takes care of her friends. Iíve been so depressed with the end of Bricktops and Mary doesnít miss a beat in coming to my rescue. Cory Marie picked me up and we started the day off at Maryís Park LaBrea Garden Apt, drinking coffee and eating dainties in the luxury of Maryís warm and welcoming flat. Then off to Jackieís Nail salon, where Miss Mary bestowed upon me the gift of a delux mani and pedicure, massage & wax therapy session. Pure pure unadulturated heaven. I felt like a movie star honey!!!! The Korean staff at Miss Jackieís was very accomodating and sweet. And my poor dogs needed treating. Years of punishment with high heels way too small, like Japanese foot binding had left me in a state.
Then Mary took us to the Grove for an incredible bruncheon at this cute little restaurant near the musical fountain, where we people watched all the hot young mensis while eating and sipping Mamosas. Who could ask for anything more? Thank you Mary, Mary----you are the bestest!!!!!
Oh and special kudos to Miss Cory Marie for designing the posters for my new show in Berlin, "It Happened to Me" I love them, they are perfecta!!!

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 2:20 PM