Speaking From the Diaphragm
The Vaginal Davis Blog
. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities
Friday, April 22, 2005
I really seem to attract a certain type of boy here in man!chesty. Went to the Great Northern Railway Company where there is an AMC cineplexy and before i caught the flicker, a boiling boy of the most ultimate sauciness was trying to snap me inside the loo. Wasn't sure if he was a concubine or not. he was wearing the standard issue geezer uniform: Burburry cap, shiny track stripy jumper with pant, Rockports, the works. At least he wasn't donning those Reebok classic trainers, that would have been Skal overkill. His bum was rounded perfection, and that lump in his crotch held promise and fullfillment. His beautiful pale skin glowed---what a sight for Cornelius or better my john wayne gacy hairy eyeballs. yowza yowza yu!!!!
Caught the movie "Sahara" starring Matthew "I never bathe" McConaughy, his Spanish bird, former beard of Tom Cruise---Penelope Cruize and that darling trotter Steve Zahn, who is sezy in a wierd dufusy way and a laugh riot. William h. Macy was playing his atypical Macy role, and the surprise was a fantastic Glynn Turman, who use to be mr Aretha Franklin in too brief supporting role. The pic was entertaining in that Alan Quartermain zesty way. Outside of the theatre was a sign that said Virgin Active. Thats me all the way--jfk!
In the courtyard at the Bar 38, was the M-TV program TRL interviewing the Brazilian footballer Rio Ferdinand, who is a half caste braided and a bit weasle looking in person. He looks cuter in photos.
2 nite i'm going to try and catch Kiki & Herb at The Mint Lounge on Oldham Street.
Andrea Novarin will come back Monday to help me with the workshops.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 4:06 AM
Thursday, April 21, 2005
GREEN DOLPHIN STREET
First formal meeting with my Maladjusted Rule artistic tag team consisting of Contact Theatre's pretty project manager Jennie Sutton, a sweet good time sally who reminds me of Anne Marie of Birmingham's Fierce Festival, handsome no nonsense dyke Joey Hateley, and writer/performer/expert outreacher, the lovely Niven Ganner. I immediately wanted to adopt them as my very own children. I'm old enough to be their grams, three times over. Its so invigorating to be around such radiant youth. I'm sure i'll be learning more from them, then i could possibly teach. The prospects are thrilling.
Contact theatre's happy-go-lucky cutup, and General Mgr Keith introduces me to the Divine Da-vid. He's such a humble starina, that i didn't recognize him. Niven was the one who made his identity known to me. Simon Casson of London's Ducky, has told me so many wonderful stories of their working relationship, i feel like we're old pals. The Divine one will be creating an "I never promised you a rose garden" spring tranquility installation. Can't wait to delight in its promise.
After a few hours of brainstorming with my rock steady crew, Niven took me to the gay villa'ge to a nifty olde fashioned tavern to throw back some pints. A middle aged power dagger who reminded me of Agnes Moorehead was flirting with me. Those butch bottoms can smell a femme top from a football field away. Miss Moorehead was hilarious. Our young bartender was cute, but very blase. Keith, Divine Da-vid and his dapper friend Robert joined us for a bit. A raucaus high spirited time was had by all.
Niven walked me back to the the Mal Maison (Bad House) hotel. Professor Amelia Jones called inviting me to supper on Sunday evening. No word from my skally lad, so i felt a bit rejected. Niven kept me company and told me about the neo nazi's that cruise the canal hoping to toss faggots into the murky water. Niv had to leave and catch his train back to the next county. Both Joey and Niv are perfect in every way, and so adorable. Why aren't Americans personable like the British?
Figuring i was stood up by my beau, i decided to do some push-ups, sit-ups and take a long hot penetrating steam bath. I watched the American drama Desperate Housewives which is actually quite cute. I don't own a TV so when i travel its always a treat to vegetate and watch the boobula tube. I was just immersed in this documentary about the boy banda Take That, when the phone rings and its my boo, apologizing for calling so late, but his baby's momma made a surprise visit with his two kids. Of course it only makes perfect sense that i would find a man who has been with wo-men. Story of my natural borne life. Well, did i want some prissy hair hopper of a fagula who wears too much cologne? My boy drives over from suburbia and he commenses to toss my salad like its his destiny fullfilled. He can't get enough of "the dolls" bubble asstrovar. After my whoregasm i send him on his merry way. I won't allow him busting a gnut, not on my time, i make tentative plans to have a picknic sunday afternoon at the lush park where the costume museo is.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 4:51 AM
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
I'm glad i'm staying in the city centre i can easily walk any and everywhere. Went with my Italian born intern Andrea Novarin to a crappy sauna off of Canal Street called H2O that was filled with the fathers of trolls and andalusian gargoyles. The only one of interest in the place was a muscleheaded skin who worked behind the counter.
In the Northern Quarter we discovered another sauna called The Basement. The place was filled with totty's. i wound up in a scene with five blondines who were young and tight---like a gash, like a wound----my entire binocer cavity was ravaged, as well as my 3 inch cashew and bungers. Everything is still a little sore to-day. I'll be returning to that juice cellar on the weekend.
Got some good press out of the Guardian and this lesbiana glossy called Diva Magazine, which features an interview i don't remember giving. I guess i'm ready to replace Catherine Denueve as the latest saaphic icon.
Today is Tuesday and I've turned into the ultimate walker. Went all the way down Oxford Street past the University into the Arab and East Asian District. Found a delightful park and soaked up the gamma rays. Actually enjoyed the sun for a change. Went to the history of costume museo that features clothing from the 18th Century all the way to the present. My favorite periods being Regency, Edwardian and the jazz age.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 10:25 AM
Monday, April 18, 2005
LOVE SAVES THE DAY
is the name of the great little restaurant Andrea and i went to. Professor Monika Pearl took us to breaky at a little greasy spoon and told us about LSTD and the marvelous Oldham Street.
Found the post office and its raining AGAIN---not so bad, it kind of comes down like a spritzer, very refreshing. i'm actually loving man!chester and all the very cute bubble butt boys prancing about. yum yum and then more yum. Andrea returns to london, but will come back later on the day i put on the happening with the students.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 6:52 AM
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Got laid by a Mike Skinner of the Streets look-a-like. A working class bloke, occupation: Builder. And great building is what he did, munching down on my garden salad like Gary Cooper in the Fountainhead.
Instead of bringing him back to my hotel, i went to his place, a council estate in the suburb that Andrew of Gould warned me was the roughest in all of Britain. Very much like the new BBC drama Shameless. Me and my laddy have a tentative date for Wednesday. Lets hope it leads to something.
My assistant Andrea Novarin, who is Italian but has been living in London for the past six years came to Manchester to help me. Andrea is so low energy sometimes its like he's not even there. I'm quoting Ron Athey in that description of Andrea. Sweet Andreas really has been a big help to me.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 5:08 PM