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Speaking From the Diaphragm

The Vaginal Davis Blog

. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

YO SOY UNA MUJER PECADORA
My article on Joel Gibb of Canada's Hidden Cameras and The Pretty Things in Zoo Magazine is now on the stands. Zoo Magazine is the new hot fashion glossy edited by the great Rebecca Voight of Dutch. In fact Zoo has risen from the ashes of Dutch. I'm on deadline right at the moment trying to finish my article on Guin Turner and I will write about my recent performances in Slovenia for Zoo, so all i will say about having been to Lubjljana is that i had a marvelous time presenting Visions of Excess. It was a huge success. All the men are tall and everyone speaks English and Italian. Pivo means beer and pobro means good. Oh and Slovenia is the suicide capital of Europe. My entire stay it was grey. Dark grey and light grey but lovely, and very wintery. The event took place at a 16th century castle with an adjacent chapel where Ron Athey and Julianna Snapper performed "The Judas Cradle" I did an excerpt of my new piece "Orifice Descending" with musical accompaniment by the avant garde orchestra BAST. Visions was presented in association with handsome Davide Grassi's arts collective Aksioma and Gallerja Kapelica which is run by Uri, who is the art czar of all the Balkans. The breakout artist of the spectacle were locals Eclipse who created this nasty interactive video game where the joystick is a dildo and you play it with your hatchet pussy. Oh talk about Ms. Packman. I was put up at the Lubjljana equivalent of a boutique hotel called M. Very pleasant and insightful trip, and this is coming from someone who hates to travel, even if i have to because its my job.

***
Bricktops New Year's Eve Courtesan Masked Ball was spectacular of course. Brian Grillo and his Grillo Follies were supurba!!!! Brian is amazing and he had able assist from juicy Abby Travis and that miracle known as Mink Stole. Brian and Mink's Bob Fosse choreography at the end of their set really went over well. I can't wait till Mink does her own night, most likely in February.

Of course i didn't get one kiss the whole evening but i did see Brad Pitt downing some of our holiday concoction Nigg Nogg with his bony wife Jennifer Anus-tin. What were they doing at Bricktops? How did they find out about it?

I guess Gwen Stefani's party wasn't interesting enough for them. My spies who had been invited to Gwen's told me that Brad & Jen never made it, and that Gwen's soiree was filled with Eve Harrington's looking desperately for a Margo.

At Bricktops everyone was dressed to the 8's and 9's. I loved the outfit that hot young white rapper Rye Berg was wearing. He was dressed like a concubine cowpoke and The Ditty Bops also looked really cute. Tom Morello who use to be in Brian's band Lock-up and Rage Against the Machine was helping Brian's brother dispose of props after they were used on stage and Jenny Lens, Augusta & Don Spiro were capturing all the majick on film. Sexy, chubby movie cholo Jacob Vargas(from the new movie The Flight of the Phoenix) and his entourage came expecting a surprise show by Morrissey who told me he wanted to sing some B. Lillie and Gertrude Lawrence songs. Well maybe he'll show up one day this month and do it. Why are Latino men so into Morrissey?

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 6:08 PM


MOCK-DEVOTIONAL ECSTASY
One of Vaginal Davis' all time super heroines died recently, NO not Susan Sontag though i did admire her. I'm talking about the first Colored person to seek a major party nomination for president, and the first negress elected to Congress, where she served for 13 years. Her name was Shirley Chisholme and she was also also one hell of a dagger doddle, having had a lesbiana relationship with comedienne Jackie "Moms" Mabley. Shirley was also married to a couple of men for variety purposes. My favorite Shirley Chisholme quote:

". . .I hae grown to detest many of the white Northern liberals who are always ready with rhetoric about equal opportunity in jobs and education [However] when the time comes to put the heat on, in committee and on the floor, and do something, like passing an amendment or increasing appropriation, too many of these white knights turn up missing,"

My sentiments exactly.

***
go to http://www.camazotz.com/misc/sphere.jpg
for the most scathing film review ever written

***

And this from the great white north via Bruce "Judyline" LaBruce:

did some one leave a cake out in the rain? oy. you think youíve got problems, ladygod? the whorelydays are really dragging me down, down, down, sucking me out to sea like a tsunami. i just got back from my parentsí farm where I spent three days in too-close proximity to my three witchly sisters. i couldnít figure out if it was shakespeare, chekhov or woody allen. actually it was kind of like interiors down on the farm. two of them had their pussy whipped mates with them (actually very nice fellows), so there was eight of us crammed into this little snowbound farmhouse breathing down each otherís necks. plus my youngest sister, who suffers from depression, has three or four cats, and she was pet-sitting two dogs and another cat, so it was like a menagerie. you couldnít be alone for one second of the day. three days seemed like three weeks. thereís no where to go, so we just went snow-shoeing everyday back to the bush. it was so chekhov. we say a snowy owl. my dad is a clint eastwood fanatic and there was a marathon of clintís movies on tv so it was all clint eastwood all the time. i guess it could have been worse. i was really missing the muslim (Bruce's ex-boyfriend) because he usually sees the humour in those sorts of situations. since the muslim has been gone iíve been trying to forget my sorrow by getting fucked up a lot on drugs and fucking everything in sight. itís kind of working. i havenít even seen Zoo Magazine with joel (lead singer of Toronto's Hidden Cameras) in it yet. check out the next tank magazine for a spread i did recently with the naked boy knitting model i shot for honcho, justusí ex boyfriend (but we wonít hold that against him.) heís 20 now, and a little more manly, so theyíre pretty hot. this cute argentinian stylist from london flew over and we shot it before xmas. the photos are nice, but i donít know what tank will end up doing with them. tank is sort of like zooís rival i gather. this little stylistís name was francesco. you would love him. heís very stylisty, very particular and kind of snobby Ė you know, like all stylists. normally i donít like stylists Ė i only like them when they want to work with me, and make the effort to come to toronto to do it. then i like them. like romain, the french one from tetu. i think iím going to go to paris in early feb to shoot another tetu spread. iím going to do a little variation on breathless, which i just watched again up on the farm. when jean seberg looks at belmondo through the rolled up magazine and heís sitting there with a cigarette and then it jump cuts to a close-up of the two kissing, i cried because it was so beautiful. i do that now. it must be age. i also cried when jean seberg asks the novelist sheís interviewing at orly what his greatest ambition in life is and he says ďto become immortal, and then to dieĒ, and jean seberg turns and looks straight into the camera with a really sad face. itís as if she knew that she would soon be a dead legend. sad sad sad. i love her. so some asshole complained about my website so paypal wonít let me sell my stupid raspberry reich t-shirts anymore. fuckheads. donít they know art when they see it? do i have to draw them a diagram? heathens. well, buck up for the new year, lady. donít worry, judy will be coming to town soon. tell me all about the balkans. iím going to zagreb in a couple of weeks. miss you much. xx x blab

more bruce on bruce:

omigod i must have mad cow. i forgot the best part. ok, so just before i
left for the cruel farm i watched passolini's salo, the perfect christmas
movie. (i'm writing about it and some other obscure dirty movies for
nerve.com.) i watched dusav makavejev's sweet movie as well, which also has
a lot of people shitting and drinking piss and vomiting and stabbing each
other in the genitals. it's sort of like the upbeat version of salo. so then
i go to the farm and on christmas day some genius cable station is playing
the exorcist and i watch about a half an hour of it before i get scared and
have to turn it off. i watch it in the "back kitchen", as we call it, this
room in the farm house that has a wood stove and that is very cozy, but it's
also where my sister is keeping the dogs she is sitting - a fat black lab
and a shitzu mix. so the next day i wake up and the house is in chaos. one
of the dogs has had diarrhea and shits all over the room. also the toilet has
backed up and run over upstairs and no one can find the plunger. and my
father wakes and feels something wet on his face, reaches up and realizes
that he's bleeding profusely from his nose! circle of blood, circle of shit!
it was bizarre. merry christmas! x blab


.: posted by Vaginal Davis 6:07 PM