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Speaking From the Diaphragm

The Vaginal Davis Blog

. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities

Saturday, April 10, 2004

LILLY ST. CYR

Went to the Velvet Hammerís sparkling presentation of Illuminata at the new Avalon Theatre formerly the Hollywood Palace. Just an amazing spectacle of bountiful bouliciousness. My young goddaughter Michele Carr is a masterful directrice and producer. Iím so proud of her achievements, and to think she started off as one of my discoveries when I made her a Dominette in Pedro Muriel and Esther way back in the early 90s. Sheís come along way and has carved her own special niche in the heritage burlesque scene and is destined to conquer, conquer, conquer.

Oh Bricktops, you always amaze me, and with the Ditty Bops performing you canít go wrong. Iíve been waiting forever to have the girls back and they never disapoint. LA hasnít seen this much youthful beauty and talent in many years. There is no stopping this group from rising to the high ranks. Their new CD is flawless, and soon everyone will be dripping in the envy and magique that is The D Bops. There arenít enough words to express my admiration for this group, and the boys in the band-Yowza, the piano man---masculine perfection, a barrel chested cross between silent screen stars George OíBrian and Gilbert Roland---ladies he will make you scream with shrill delight! and the stand up bass player, I was won over immediately with his tousseled hair good lucks and husky, young Gary Cooper aw shucks demeanor. I wonder what his bung hole tastes like? Oh and the groupís photographer what a red hot silver foxxxxxx!!! He got my cooze all wet and hanging, and his publicity photo of Abby and Amanda shimmers.

So many hot celebutantes came out this week a nice mixture of mainstream and underground starinas just the best recipe for a club nite. Pre-Rafaelite lovely, Melissa Auf Der Maur with Josh Homme(Queen of Stone Age) and Brant Bjork. The delish female husband of Stephin Merritt and singer with the Magnetic Fields, Claudia Gonson. New York elite The Dueling Bankheads, Ebony Jett (who now lives in LA). Ron & Russell Mael of Sparks, hotel hunkina Andreí Belaz with new honey Uma Thurman (looking ravishing now that she dumped that loserick husband of hers Ethan Hawke. The legends legends of LA club royalty Richard Velasco, Tra La La, Henry Peck and Fertile La Toyah Jackson with fiance. Fertile is getting married on May 29th. Bricktops regulars Dan, Monica and Princess Isabella, Mulholland Drive beauty Rebecca Del Rio, and social celebrity Jean Spinosa who brought a gaggle of infamous Bay Area luminaries including Jenna of the late, great literary and arts magazine Flatter with Christine of the Bernal Heights Coven.

I sang a brand new song about Hitler that went like this:

Oh Adolf Hitler
Hitler, Adolf
Youíre alive and well tra la la
living it up in Argentina

Oh Mister Hitler, Adolf Hitler baby
they saved your brain, and penii
ooh la la
youíre having lots of sex in
Argentina

Oh Hitler juicy Adolf
you still rule the world
and the Whitehouse
Tar Ta
and you do it so well
from Buenos Aires
Argen-tina

Oh and I got a million emugs wanting to know the lyrics to the new song I sang the other week called Chicken and Waffles. Well here they are for your perusal:

Chicken and Waffles
waffles and chicken
lickity splits
and donít forgets me
some Harmony grits

Chicken and waffles
waffles and chickens
buttermilk biscuits
Iíd love to munch on your
literal Harmony grits

PERPETUAL WAR FOR PERPETUAL PEACE

Just received this great emug from the handsomest man on the planet, writer Mark Simpson, who is responsible for coining the term 'Metrosexual'. We've been friends now for a few years and he has the sharpest mind in all of Christendom. I share with you what he wrote plus the email i wrote him so that there is a little context.

Voila:

Devastating glamourpuss sexkitten
Not only are you terrifyingly pretty you're also frighteningly psychic - i was in the US recently (and met up with a friend/fan of yours, Peter McQuaid)
In the course of my visit i did indeed end up wedged between a couple of paratroopers and ended up ravishing the rump of one of them (the married one).
Though in hindsight I wonder if I wasn't actually the one being ravished - or at least my 'uncut English cock' they kept going on about
but that's straight paratroopers for you.
By the way, I'm writing up the story for Salon so I'll forward you it when it airs - the proceedings were also filmed, but I've yet to summon the courage to sign the model release.
Because of nerves (you may not believe this, but I'm not a natural exhibitionist) I was only able to summon a semi-erection - and with two very friendly young members of america's elite forces on hand to help, what could my excuse be?
Alas, my itinerary didn't take me to southern california, but I'm hoping to make that journey later this year - and then we will be re-united - perhaps I might be able to write about your event for some mag.
Very sorry you haven't had your copy of ST MOZ, but it seems no one has - the publisher's distributor in the us is the same criminally incompetent outfit that distributed THE QUEEN IS DEAD - i've threatened them with all kinds of wrath if they don't get you a copy asap.
When do you leave for East Berlin? I've never visited East Germany or Eastern Europe, even though I have a degree in Eastern European history. The GDR was my favourite Iron Curtain country. I hear that East German boys are so much more aryan than the West German boys.
I think it must be all that mass rapes by the Red Army at the end of the war. The slavs always looked more like the Nazi propaganda heroes than the Nazis.
Mx

----- Original Message -----
From Ms. Davis
marksimpson.com
Sent: Monday, April 05, 2004 8:19 PM
Subject: Re: ST MOZ


darling handsome masculine perfection: i sit here in my humble studio looking out my window at downtown los angeles, thinking of you, and the young hornacious rumps that you've most likely been devasting lately.

Oh those fortunate military youth---seminal depositories, fated to be mandraked by the biggest and the best. Years from now when they look back on your pillaging of their succulent innards, they will sigh heavy in kind.

I've just been involved in the regular doldrums, trying my best to create art in an artless world. Looking forward to finally leaving the U.S. of A for the former GDR, East Berlin. I had a marvelous time their in 2001 spending six glorious months performing and hopping off to other cities for shows and getting the chance to meet you in the fleshy flesh. There is no inspiration in this Los Ang town, so i must leave for better green dolphin streets.

My roaring 20s club Bricktops is going strong. Having a blast putting it on every week, but its tiresome at the same time.

Haven't gotten the St. Moz book yet. Does you publ have my current mailing address?

Vaginal Davis Jr.
Cheese Endique Trifecta
P.O. Box 741-278
Hancock Park, CA 90004-9278
USA

When will you be visiting the colonies? In July Ron and I may be putting together another Platinum Oasis art event, this time in a bathhouse----yummy. Of course everyone will wind up having lots of sex, except me. The storina of my life.

i remain your devoted and loving loyal servant
keeper of the flame and sacred cult of Mark Simpson, the demi-god.


Vagimula

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 1:56 PM


Monday, April 05, 2004

THUD

I've been on the program lately. It feels good not to drink. Professor Doyle took me to dinner at the new Rowena restaurant Blair. Superb food, and service. I wanted a glass of wine with dinner, but i resisted the temptation. The chef use to be at The Water Grill, and he is really sexy, so is the latino sous chef. Lots of people we knew also eating. Dr. D's cute gallic friend with this girl who owns a gallery in Chinatown on North Broadway and also the mulatto director of the movie Drumline was eating with one of the Outfest board of directors, a lovely black lady who is a major studio executrix.

had a joyous meeting with Steven Vowels the mgr of the Flex Compound. He seems to be congenial about our having an art event on the premises. If it happens it will be a historic occasion.

Bricktops was pure genius. Anna Biller a sweet Cal Arts girl performed as Miss Pettyflowers with a male companion. They sang a trib to Gertrude Lawrence that involved music from the 1900s to the 1960's. Great costumes that Anna makes herself.

The Heatherette fashion collective came by with a bunch of pals along with tranny oddity Amanda LePore. Sudanese model Alek Wek stopped in with directors Antoine Fuquo and the Michael Gondry who directed the latest Jim Carey flick. Lots of people dressed to the 9ines. Just the way i like it at Bricky's.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 12:55 PM