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Speaking From the Diaphragm

The Vaginal Davis Blog

. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities

Saturday, December 13, 2003

Bricktops "Gloria Swanson Sunset Blvd Nite" was utterly zierish. The lovely and talented Miss Kitty Diggens was captivating in Ziegfeld girl realness---- and everyone was talking about how she resembles Gloria Swanson at the height of her silent film career. Shannon Roberts of the Montrose Hills also stopped by and did one of her tap dance installations. Of course she awed the crowd and it was great having her back in the Bricky fold. Mr. Uncertain premiered a new song called "Bitchcakes" that was a crowd pleaser.

Bubble butt beauty Ben Adair brought his delish girlfriend Shoshanna to the club as part of her birthday celebration. Ben was one of the LA Weeklyís star youth reporters under Sue Horton. Now heís working with National Public Radio. I adored his posse of vivacious friends.

Was introduced to Casey Wasserman, the 29 year old grandson of the legendary chairman of MCA--- Lew Wasserman, he was with Royd Tolkien the great grandson of J.R.R. Tolkien, creator of Lord of the Rings. They didnít look like they were enjoying themselves, but surprisingly stayed around to closing. You just never know whose path youíll cross at Bricktops.

The scintilating Rebecca Del Rio, the muse of David Lynch was also floating and flirting about along with Entertainment Tonight producer and legendary punk rock beauty Jane Cantillon, and it seemed like everbody was drinking my new holiday concoction Nig Nog. Even director Spike Jonze was throwing them back like gingerale. I didnít really have time to chit chat with Spike so he kind of brooded in the corner with a really hot latin looking boy with big titties, overly groomed eyebrows, and a masculine rough around the edges face. I also met this tall good looking graduate student from USC who brought a bunch of nice friends with him. Every week at Bricktops its a different crowd. I never know what to expect which is the best thing about doing the club.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 1:41 PM


Friday, December 12, 2003

Spike Jonze heir to the Spiegle Catalogue Fortune called me today, and left a message on my voicemail. I haven't talked to him in ages. Not since he was the editor of the boy version of Sassy Magazine called Dirt. Back then he was a homo going out with this sexy thin boy who later became a singer. I guess now that he is divorcing Sofia Coppolla, he's interested again in people from his past.
He sez he's coming to Bricktops 2nite. We'll see.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 1:32 PM


Was over at someone's house and i got to see the TV show starring socialite Paris HIlton and Nicole Richie called The Simple Life. I don't know if its because i don't own a TV so when i get to watch something its a novelty, but i really liked the program. As far as reality TV goes.

Poor Paris and her buttless body teetering on those high heeled shoes. Ms. Hilton is just a product of her times, and while i've made fun of her in the past i find her somewhat endearing in this program. I also like Nicole Ritchie. She throws out some delicious zingers like wanting to have a hot buttered threegy with the handsome teenage farmboy they are living with. That would really be a hot way for the girls to go. Hunky farm boys is the way to keep em down on the farm. I know it would work wonders with me. Nicole also fist fucks a cow. The show is really unexepectedly daring. For the sequel they should have the two living in the projects with a black ghetto family. I think the girls could get into it.


i love getting emugs from Professor Doyle when she's abroad, and since she'll be back Tuesday this will most likely be the last one that i share with you out in Blogland:


i love your taste.
well toussaint turned out to me more or less of a winner. easy-going, cute (he's a dead ringer for antonio banderas!) - came into some family money, so has a really nice pad (in one of the prettiest villages i've seen here) and generous ways. he's 32, and if he didn't talk so damned much (a real chatterbox!) i'd try and make him my husband!
he took me to see some new nature spots i hadn't been to - one look-out point form which you can la mer - and then we saw his baby olive trees, and made out lots. he carried me around - he seems to like the idea that he can pick me up and throw me about, making me squeal like a schoolgirl.
i'm very tired, as it was hard to sleep with him - he kept molesting me, kept talking talking talking - but am having a good time, as they say.
weather here is wintery but sunny and gorgeous.
xxoo
jennifer

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 1:26 PM


Wednesday, December 10, 2003

another cute letter all the way from Montpellier, France:


I come back on tuesday afternoon and i'll be hungry for the company of friends!


i'm so bummed i'm going to miss the party for lenny. i luv seeing andrew outside of the parlor, and i've been wanting to sit down w/ daphne and olivier for years now.


bricktops sounds like it's as strong as ever. that gwyn turner. i'm not, as you say, featuring her lately. i really don't appreciate how she tried to fuck w/ my personal life. i can really hold a grudge, too.


speaking of yves montand,


things got much less dull here this morning - first, i went to the market at the town next door and ran into practically every menacing looking thug i know in the area whom i have a crush on. they of course all know me now, and stopped and gave friendly three-kisses-bec. it's le sud greetings, we chatted, I pet their rottweiler/shepard/bulldogs and went merrily on my way (looking for rillete de canard and good saussison sec).


anyway, when i got back i needed help with some wood that was delivered to the house for a construction project, but which was left in the street for me to bring into the house. one of my friends here set me up with a friend of his who came by this morning to lend a hand.


he's a french cutie - black hair, brown eyes, big nose - tall, very hunky, manly. his name is toussant, and he's a landscaper and specializes in the cultivation of olive trees. while he was helping me some of his friends stopped by - another landscaper (blond, blue eyes, weathered in a sexy germanic sort of way) and a mulatto-arab romantic fantasy (long thick hair tied back, big brown eyes, and quiet as a mouse). They all pitched in with getting the wood into the basement, and i made them coffee & a snack... it was great.


anyway, toussant is coming by later to take me on a tour of his olive grove! i like the way that sounds!


did the guys come by and do stuff in my apartment? i hope they weren't too much of a bother!


xxoo


jennifer

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 1:13 PM


Monday, December 08, 2003

Gosh i keep bumping into people today. Someone from my not so distant past, Mathieu Kassovitz the actor (Amelie)and director of the recent film Gothika(which i havent seen) that stars Ms. Halle-tosis Berry. Mathieu is dedicated to autoeroticism. He conducts sex as a series of mechanical experiences, unrelated to bodies, minds, men or women.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 4:04 PM


Ran into Ken Roht of the Evidence Room Theatre Company in the Silverlake Junction. He's such a calming figure, vivacious yet gentle and soft spoken---my favorite type of person, so unlike most theatre people. I saw his production "He Pounces" a while back and loved it. He has a new piece that has something to do with "The 99cent Store" sounds like another hot concept. Theatre in LA gets a bad rap, because most of it is just tired actors trying to get noticed for commercial work, but there is this other element that is more experimental and not concerned with the three horned peni beast which is the mediocre entertainment world of movies, TV and the lame recording industry. Hopefully i can talk one of my gainfully employed pals into treating me to see this performance at the Evidence Room, which is one of the most comfortable spaces if not THE most comfy and congenial, doing great work in the city.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 3:30 PM


Bricktops one year anniversary party was filled with hilarious hijinks. Thanks to one and all for making Bricktops the delight that it has been for everyone involved.
Special kudos to Andrew of Gould, the Parlour Mgr for making the delicious cucumber sandwiches. By the evenings end, there wasnít one left. Andrew also cultivated the trees that we used for making all that champagne. Andrew is soooo sweet and cute with his giant English rose of a penis, and works the hardest making things run smoothly and also helping promoting the club by designing the best fliers and posters imaginable and coming up with the ultimate in creative ideas.

The entire staff at the Parlour are wonderful to work with. Head bartender Kim from North Korea is just a pretty lady of wondermint and the other bartenders, Cynthia, Josh, Keoka and Sebastian really know how to treat customers and have no qualms about going that extra distance with providing top notch service,
whether its chewing out knatty pussy or munching on crunchy bunghole. Oh and I canít forget owner Lenny the young elder or barback Rubencito from El Salvador who is one humpy little pupusa. I use Rubens hot salsa semen as a wrinkle remover and moisturizer. And as you can tell by looking at me it works wonders.

Helping us celebrate was LAís lengendary DJ and club impressario Henry Peck, who is one of my first nation sisters. Also the entire Hansen Family clan: Bibbe, Channing and Beck minus his Ribisi girlfriend. Also on hand artist and filmmaker Sean Carrillo, legends legend kristian hoffman, doran of the scintilating vancouver mag Bloody Beautiful, glamorous dykon Gwen Turner doing the things that only Gwen Turner can get away with. Dancing the charleston together was the odd coupling of Angels in America star Justin Kirk and Tim Armstrong of Rancid.

Special thanks to Immanual Martin De La Falaise for his genius installation "Love Letters From Walter Grobius" Immanuel looked amazing in his pristine suit
typing on a vintage german typewriter. The Walter Grobius character is part of a larger art project so if you want to know more about it please contact Immanual via his web site at: http://cuteyhoney.com/walter/walter.htm

Our other installation involved actor/director Cesar Vega of the upcoming Che Guevera biopic. He was sprawled out on a bed of aber portraying a sexy latin silent screen star. Everyone wanted to get under the covers with Cesar and grab his 13 inch chorizo. Thank you Mr. Vega for letting the horny Bricktops crowd manhandle you.

Seen watching all the excitement unfold: Paddy Considine, St. Louis basketball star Anthony Drejay, Sundance film festivalís Shari Frilot, and Steak of Steakhause Productions.

Mr. Uncertain was his usual suave self and had assistance on stage by a special celebrity crooner who shall remain nameless and Vaginal Davis went modern by singing Mary J. Bligeís "No More Drama" retitled "No More Lesbian Drama" and "Family Affair" while DJ. Latin Gatsby aka: Hector "Smegma" Martinez and Bernice BobsHerHair had a field day keeping the crowd on their feet.

Next Friday its Gloria Swanson Nite with a performance by the Czarina of burlesque Kitty Diggens and hopefully some new erotica by Swiss hunk Cyril Kuhn of the C-Level Collective and a tap dance installation by Shannon Roberts of the Montrose Hills.


Mark Murphy of The Walt Disney Hallís Redcat Experimental Theatre invited me to see a performance by the Deja Donne Company from Prague. I brought a host of visiting dignataries including Mr. De La Falaise, Patty Powers, writer Lisa Teasley and Anderson Cooper. The Slavic dance troupe gave a spirited performance. Two of the boys were very sexy in that eastern European way I sometimes fancy. I loved how most of the girls and one boy didnít exactly have dancer bodies, or at least not the bullemic type bodies weíre accostomed to seeing in our ballet and modern dance companies. I was a little disappointed that all the violent sex and dance play/histrionics wasnít done in the nude from the very beginning. If ever there was a piece that called for nakedness throughout its this one. Saving it for the end with just a tease ruined the impact of what came before. Plus those costumes that looked like they were from Old Navy certainly didnít give me a Martha Graham Wowzina.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 3:18 PM