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Speaking From the Diaphragm

The Vaginal Davis Blog

. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Bricktops Fatty Arbuckle night was very sweet. Mr. Uncertain enacted his loveable monster persona which he hasnít done in quite a while and also tap danced, which I love. He also did a spiffy version of "Lady, Be Good". I sang my original song "Chinga Tu Madre" in honor of the election of "The Arnold" as our golden states new governor. I also managed to stick in the showtune "Aces High". Our special guests were Tommyís Italian Novelty Band featuring Tom and Aldo from Janet Kleinís Parlour Boys. Tom and Aldo are two very horny elderly gentlemen who are amazing musicians. They brought in a top notch stand-up bassist and a young kid who sang a smoking original blues number. My door girl Selene was also looking mighty foxy in a fur coat and vintage undies.
A lot of humpy rock n rollers also came by to pay their respects to la diva. Tim Armstrong of Rancid was dancing away with a lady friend, but also made time with pretty San Francisco heritage DJ Pandora. Tim and Matt his bass player from Rancid use to come to Club Sucker and this was his first visit to Bricktops, I think he enjoyed himself. Nora Kaye of the Centimeters fame also stopped in. Sheíll be the guest star for our Halloween German Expressionist Extravaganza. She was chit chatting with Derek Fudesco and Andrea Zollo of the band Pretty Girls Make Graves. What a stupid name for a band. Michael Schmidt, the chain mail designer and Charlieís Angels movie costumer got lucky and picked up a tall young blond boy. Good for him. He deserves some goodies, and the boy he snaggled has a giant penis. How do I know that? I met the kid first when he lived in Minneapolis when I was on tour with Margaret Cho and we had a fierce roll in the proverbial hay. Also during the end of my weekly performance Andrew WK, the mad, but overwelmingly pretty party rocker, came by and was almost unrecognizeable in a houndstooth suit and bowler hat that hid his long hair. He gave a quick compliment to our DJ Pirate Jenny, from Montepelier before he took off into the night by 1:15pm. I sure wish I could have followed him home and got into bed with him.


.: posted by Vaginal Davis 3:27 PM


Thursday, October 09, 2003

i i got a little emug from my good friend Kari Khrome formerly of the runaways and now living in NYC:

last weekend i was looking out my window on the top
floor, it was early early evening, and i watched two
girls climb out from the basement of a squat, adjacent
to the empty lot across the street. the wriggled out
and crouched behind a pile of old wood and pipes. two
girls sat on the wood and chain smoked, while one girl
crouched down and pulled her pants down and peed while
they all smoked and talked. the girl peeing wore a
black and red plaid skirt with a black hoodie and her
hair crazy couloured blood red. her ass was facing me,
and it was whiter than any white i had ever seen. she
crouched there peeeing and smoking at the same time
while talking to her friends. she looked around for
something to wipe with, and seeing nothing, used the
the front of her shirt. she stood up yawned, and then
blew her nose on the shirt as well.
i was cracking up. Rancid was playing at CBGBs and the
troops were out in full force. two guys, one with a
military mohawk, and another in in a GBH t shirt
crossed the street in front of my building. the one in
the GBH t shirt slowed down, leaned down on a
construction cone to steady himself, and vomited in
the middle of the street.
all of this happened within 3 minutes.
what can you do?
last week a carfull of kids who were drunk and stupid
sat out in front of my building for an hour screaming.
a huge group of them came piling out of the Bowery
Poetry Club twirling and screeching and dancing around
like some loser teenagers at a Rocky Horror Picture
Show matinee. I got so pissed that i went on top of
the roof and threw a rock down on top of thier van. It
made a loud Kachunk as it hit. i ran back downstairs
to my apt and listened to them scream some more. i got
so pissed i went back on top of the roof and threw 3
big rocks in rapid succession. each one sounded like
thunder.
when i went back to my apt and looked out the window
they had left.
fucking assholes.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 6:38 PM


Political Front-Cíest fatigue
Well he won, as expectedó"The Arnold" is now the governor of California. Of course the state deserves him. In a beauty contest of monkeys the winner will always be a monkey.
I really need to leave this country. But go where? Germany? France? England? Well at least in Germany Iíll get more sex. But after living there for 5 months 2 years ago, I can see Germany is at the same place it was in 1928.
Is there a place for me in this world? I doubt it.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 10:44 AM


Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Edward Bunotto one of my cute Topping From the Bottom Boys from the first Platinum Oasis was nominated for Best Art Director for the TV musical The Music Man. He lost but I had no idea he was even an art director let alone getting nominated for an Emmy. He is living in Toronto and Montreal and has a big fat dick and nice titties so he always attracts lots of cute boys around him like flies to the flame, or is that moths?
I thought little Eddie was an art photographer. It just goes to show you how many different scenes and worlds Vaginal Davis criss crosses.
Literary Pituatary-Ron Athey, Lisa Teasley and little lady I, started our writers klatch again. Weíre going to meet every Mon at 2pm at Lisaís Laurel Canyon compound. The first session went really well. That Lisa is so prolific. She has a brand new chapter of a new book. Wow! Sheís making me look bad. Her second book Dive will soon be published and it was fantastic working with her as she wrote the book with the first installment of our klatch. Its difficult coordinating our busy schedules, but its so so worth it.
With all these commitments I have lately---- upcoming art shows in Europa and writing for art catalogues, books and the like, my health is beginning to suffer. Iíve got to learn an important new Vaginal Davis word, and that is: "No" or Iíll never get through this year in one sardine piece. Also doing a weekly niteclub is really taking its toll on me. I love doing Bricktops, but its a stressfull 24/7 always on call work throttle. Now I appreciate what Frank and Dale did during the five years of Club Sucker. But at least they got a lot of sex out of the bargain. Iíve only had sex nibbles from doing Bricktops.

Iím glad I had a few days of vacation in San Francisco, but it was hardly enough time to regenerate properly.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 11:49 AM


Monday, October 06, 2003

Page 16-"The Courtney" as in Courtney Love was arrested recently and ODíd all in the same night. Poor child, sheís a messes mess. From what my spies have told me, she was picked up by the cops around Loretta Hoggs house below Olympic Blvd. Loretta is the former NYC Klub Kidd who works for Mizz Love and is pretty much the "dad" to her daughter Frances Bean.
Culture-Went to see Marisa Carnesky perform Jewess Tattooess at UCLAís MacGowan Hall. Talk about spellbinding and revitting. This multi media piece had some incredible films in it, plus the sound and lighting by Marisaís black dyke designer friend Rose. It all just added up to geniustrata. Iím sure someone like Marilyn Manson will steal some of Marisaís top gun visual ideas for one of his tired videos.
Marisa performed as part of Visions of Excess, the event in England that Ron and I co-curated.
Seeing one of her full pieces presented properly was an utter delight to the senses. No one is working in Jewess mysticism as a performance art concept, and she is funny, sexy, intelligent and beguiling on stage.
Marisa and her posse came by Bricktops on Friday after their performance. It was wonderous having them in the hause. Bricktops theme was in keeping with the celebration of all things Jewish, in that we were saluting the Jewish vaudeville star Fanny Brice. I butchered her famous song, "My Man". For visual stimuli, we showed Babs Streisand playing Fanny in "Funny Lady" plus the real Miss Brice in the MGM classic Ziegfeld Follies of 1946. Mr. Uncertain also debut his new Uncertain Marching Band. His drummer and guitar player are really licky suckable. It was also Shauna Leoneís birthday party. The notables seen drinking and co-mingling: Stuart Krasner, the NBC executive who likes to stop by ever so often and troll for cute impressionable boys, Vanity Fairís editor-at-large Matt Trynauer who actually caught the show this time, director Ramzi Abed who is working on a movie about the Black Dahlia Murder and has lined up Werner Herzog to appear. It just so happens one of the books Iím reading is Herzog on Herzog. I love how he threatened to kill Klaus Kinski and himself if Kinski walked out on him. Love the German lesbian drama.antics
Speaking of Germanic drama, Nastassia Kinski came to the club as part of the entourage of Lesbian Icona Gwen Turner(American Psycho, Go Fish) Nastassia felt Bricktops was too downscale for her and was trying to get Gwen to leave, but she wasnít budging.
I adore Gwen, she is a real party nigger. One time the girl was so drunk that they wouldnít let her on a plane to London, where she was filming a movie. Even knackered that wit of hers bounced back, "Iím not going to fly the plane." Her beauty and charm Wowed them and they let her board. Gwenís latest project is a lesbian version of Queer is Folk that stars Pam Grier and Jennifer Beals of Flashdance fame. That should be something else.
Oh and that super fine Aussie super model turned TV Tarzan Travis Fimmel also slinkered in, but he wasnít very friendly, or nice to doorgirl Meesh of the Epiladies.
Pirate Jenny from Montepilier kicked major asstrovar behind the wheels of steel, which enabled me to have a bit of a respite which I greatly appreciated. Iím sure there were some other celebs hankering about, but as usual Iím too drunk to recognize them.

.: posted by Vaginal Davis 1:36 PM