Speaking From the Diaphragm
The Vaginal Davis Blog
. . .From the Counsel of Inter-Continental Balistic Principalities
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
Boi o Boi have i been an on-the-go girlina pie! Spent some time with art star Matthew Barney who was in town on Cremaster high art business of some kind. I didn't exactly pry into the reason he was out Southern California way. I was just happy he had time for me. Oh get your minds out of the gutterdam. We're not lovers or anything, though i wouldn't mind having a taste of that fine body of his. He's involved with Pop star Bjork and they even have a designer baby together. That doesn't mean he doesn't fool around with boys though, but when he's with another dude that lucky bastard is photographer Ryan McGinley, who will be DJ-ing at the opening for Asian Punk Boy Saturday at the Peres Projects Gallery in Chinatown. Matthew will probably be there as well chowing down on Ryan's fat young appendage. Why is it that straight boys love to suck cock? Well because their girlfriends don't have one.
Also got to hang with Ian MacKaye of Minor Threat and Fugazi fame. Oh its not what your dirty mind is thinking. We've had a romantic friendship for over 20 years. His girlfriend hates me because she thinks that I'm trying to steal him away from her. That couldn't be far away from the truth. I don't go for straight edge willis. Ian and i do make-out, but its always very innocent and i never let him do anything more than eat out my nappy dugout and suck on my big fat titties. Its not like he penetrates me or anything. And i certainly have no desire to plow him, as he doesn't really have a good enough buttocks for that sort of thing. You know i don't like pancake asses.
Oh did i mention i saw that Brazilian movie City of God. Wow, talk about fat bubble butts. Brazilians have the best booty in the world. All those fantastic mixes give them the most exotic looks, colors and textures.
Also saw the X2 movie---my guilty pleasure of the week. It wasn't that bad, just a little salty. The best thing in the flick is this young muscular boy who is in only one major scene.
Gotta run, Matthew wants to treat me and Cathie Opie to Joshua Tree for some Bohdi Tree style getting back to nature. Whoosh!
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 5:57 PM
Monday, May 05, 2003
Bricktops was a major hoot, if i do say so myself. Despite the downpour of April Showers in May which predictably kept some home. Miss los ang gets all decrepit when it rains and the nesting vibe kicks in. I hate that. Surprisingly we did get a good crowd, but not as packed as the week before when it was clear blue skies. Lots of celebutantes did show up including Rufus Wainwright all happy when i played his song "Matinee Idol" My NYC journalist girlfriend Linda/Les Simpson and Thairin from World of Wonder popped in along with Henry Peck and his hot sister. Legend Christian HOffman hung out in the DJ booth with me giving some good gossipola which is just too juicy to print here in my blournal. Christian will be performing at Bricky's in early June. Lots of cute fancy, young kids came to the club----a colorful group of jazz babies from Japan who work for this glossy fashion magazine the name of which i didn't catch.
Got introduced to Eve Mendes, some bullet nippled young actress/model who i never heard of.
During Kitty Diggens wonderful burlesque routine Britains reigning manchild of pop Robbie Williams teetered in. I actually recognized him, and he looks cuter in person, less haggy and more boyish with a tight taunt little bum. He was escorted by a very gay older man with a mustache that looked like he used some death in venice wax as a grooming byproduct.
I felated the rather large and plithy penis of a cute boy in the DJ booth until we were rudely interrupted by some reporter wanting to know the names of the songs i was spinning. My straight drag hag palsy Horten told me that the dark haired lovely i had crunched is a basketball player with the Timberwolves named Wally Szczerbiak. Now hows that for a wonders never cease scenario?
Had my more formal sex date on Saturday with a visiting admirer, who adoringly worshipped my entire nasty stinky smelly fungusy body electrik.
Sunday i had a quiet postgirlfriend time with Fertile La Toyah Jackson in Pasadena. Ms. Fertile just bought a beautiful new house near the Rose Bowl. The lady is a home owner. I'm so proud of her. She works very hard in her day job as kindergarden teacher. She and punk goddess Alice Bag both work at the same school in pico union. If you want to know what happens to punk stars as they grow and mature, well they devote themselves entirely to educating others less fortunate. Isn't that noble? Fertile and i also spent some time with my son Immanuel de la Falaise and his 5 year old daugher. Yes i am a grandma. My firstborn child's kid is very cute and precious. A bright little gal who can speak fluent Japanese. My son has a small case of yellow fever, his ex-wife who lives in Japan, but he takes care of their kid. He has a new Japanese girlfriend who he's moving to Japanesa to be with. I just hope my virile babymaking boy doesn't create any new life forms. Not that he can't afford to take care of them. His mother is of European nobility from a very old money family.
.: posted by Vaginal Davis 11:01 AM